Your Favorite Healthy Escapes

Discussion in 'Grief in Common Updates, Questions & Answers' started by Little_Sis, Jul 28, 2018.

  1. Little_Sis

    Little_Sis Member

    I hope it’s okay to post this here, because it doesn’t seem to fit on any of the other boards. I’m curious to hear from others what you enjoy doing, activities or hobbies that make you feel happy.. or even sort of escape for a little while when the feelings of missing your loved one become too much. I understand of course, that it can be next to impossible to remember what you enjoy doing when you are grieving. So don’t feel like you have to answer, but feel free to chime in if you’re up to it.

    I have two ‘escapes’ that I really enjoy. Both of them I’d never had the chance to try until after losing my sister 2 & 1/2 years ago. The first is kayaking, which was scary for me because I’m not a very good swimmer. But I always wear a life jacket and follow basic safety rules. I find it exhilarating, to have moved past my fear and done it anyway. I’ve even participated in some races this past spring and summer, and did well. I just need to get my motivation back, so I can get back to it. I find being out on the water and in nature is very soothing to my soul.

    My other escape is genealogy research, finally starting my family tree on ancestry. I know some people may say that’s a ‘nerdy’ hobby, but I’m alright with that. I’ve always wondered about my family history since I was little. To me it’s fascinating to put the pieces together, and understand my roots. I think it was just the sort of project I needed, something to keep my mind busy.

    I hope to hear from others. ..and again, I hope it’s okay to post this here. If not, please delete.
     
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  2. Sciguy

    Sciguy Well-Known Member

    The only "escape" I have right now is going online. If I didn't, I would be completely isolated.
     
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  3. Little_Sis

    Little_Sis Member

    I understand, Sciguy. Working on my family tree of course involves being online. I am also more of a homebody, keep to myself person. Sometimes if it weren’t for the internet, I wouldn’t have many conversations with people outside my family for long periods of time.

    I’m doing another kayak race next Sunday for the American cancer society. I feel honored to participate, but honestly I truly wish I was in a better spot emotionally. I’m lacking motivation, tired in general, and seriously not pumped up about the idea of being around a very large crowd of people. I need to get my pep back so that I can feel excited about things again. One foot in front of the other though, right?
     
  4. LindaH

    LindaH Well-Known Member

    Few months after my husband passed away I started a journal.
    This helps me get my feelings out. When I look back at my first post I realize how far I have really come.
    I write as if I am talking to him. What I am thinking I write.
    I realize this is not for everyone and I respect that. But for me it helps to see what I am actually thinking.
    When I think I am not making any head way I go back and read the early posts.
     
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  5. Little_Sis

    Little_Sis Member

    Hi LindaH, I feel a little silly replying because I literally just messaged you back. But I just wanted to say that I think it’s great that you started a journal. I used to write all the time; poems, short stories, and I’ve had many journals. I somehow got away from it, and I miss it. I think there’s a ton of value in being able to sort our feelings and thoughts out, and put them into words. It’s an excellent release for feelings we might otherwise keep bottled up inside. And like you said, it’s helpful to be able to look back and see where we were at different points.
     
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  6. LindaH

    LindaH Well-Known Member

    You should try writing again. I think its a good release for feeling that we are afraid to express out loud.
     
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  7. Becka

    Becka Member

    I
    do the same thing. I write my feeling and I write to him and tell him all the things I would as if he were here. It really helps. When I went back to work I didn’t really have time to do it and I can tell I’m not doing as well. I pulled it out yesterday and I’m going to start again.
     
  8. Becka

    Becka Member

    Mn
     
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  9. LindaH

    LindaH Well-Known Member

    I am glad that it helps you Becka.

    If I do not write then I do not feel right either.
    It just helps me get all my thoughts and worries out.


    I have been doing this now since 2016.

     
  10. Becka

    Becka Member

    For 2 years? Are you better? My husband passed almost 11 weeks ago suddenly and unexpected.
     
  11. LindaH

    LindaH Well-Known Member

    I am better than I was two years and five months ago.
    Grieving takes you through different fazes.
    First year I could do nothing but cry.

    I had a great support system that helped me more than they realized.
    My daughter lives out of the country for work and she spent the first four months here with me. I was visiting her when my husband passed away in his sleep.Looking back I think he knew he was going to pass and did not want me to be the one that found him.
     
  12. Ben Swartz

    Ben Swartz New Member

    My mom just died last week and this compounds the recent deaths of my brother and father. I still walk daily and practice playing (at) music as it helps me to feel human. Still very sad and teary TBT.
     
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  13. LindaH

    LindaH Well-Known Member

    Sorry for your losses Ben.

    I hope your escapes help you.
     
  14. LizCatMom

    LizCatMom Member

    Writing helps. I throw some feelings down in MS Word and just save it on my hard drive. It's just venting, nobody ever has to read it and I may not read it again myself, who knows? It helps to get the feelings out. I watch "The Golden Girls" when I can find it on because it's something my grandma and I used to watch together...she passed away back in '04, but memories of watching that show with her when I was a kid comfort me. I talk to old friends...my two best high school friends and I are gonna go see Metallica in a few months and that'll be awesome. I have plans to go golfing with my co workers. I'm new to golf, but what the hell. Those guys are fun and who knows, I might like golf. I'm open to trying it and I don't give a crap what they think, they know I haven't played.
    I enjoy genealogy research too. Nerdy? Yeah, but it's neat to learn about where we came from. Part of my family is Scottish, the same side as the grandma I mentioned, and I look forward to learning more about our history. I'd like to go to Scotland someday and do research there as well as seeing the sights. And I'm an Outlander fanatic. I watch that show too as an escape. It is a total tearjerker sometimes but I love the story.
     
  15. LizCatMom

    LizCatMom Member

    Oh, and I don't know if this is a healthy escape or not, but I find that I can't stop listening to heavy music. It's always been my favorite kind of music and it helps me feel strong. That's not something I shared with my late fiance'. He liked some heavy stuff, but he was more into stuff like Neil Young. Nothing wrong with that but I just can't listen to that right now. What's helping me now is Pantera and Five Finger Death Punch, Metallica and Megadeth, Slayer and Judas Priest and Slipknot. Lots of anger? You bet. I'm pissed about the unfairness of it all, and I find that heavy music to be cathartic, especially at a high volume while driving.
     
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  16. LizCatMom

    LizCatMom Member

    So, I went golfing with the co workers. It was awesome. I liked it enough that I'm gonna buy a reasonably priced set of clubs and play every chance I get/can afford, and go to a driving range. Great outlet for anger/frustration, while also working on concentration. Almost a meditative aspect to it, concentrate on the ball, the swing, etc...completely takes a person into another zone, away from the grief...it's you, the ball, the swing and the shot. Now I understand why people like golf.

    And this weekend is an Outlander marathon. It stirs up emotions but man do I love that saga. I relate to certain things and characters in an entirely different way than when I first read the books a couple years ago.
     
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