It's been 5 months, 19 days, 12 hours and 26 minutes since he passed into eternity in my arms, in our home, with our 4 children around his bed. I know that he needed to go. I understand that he couldn't stay. Truth is, I am grateful he isn't suffering anymore. I have loved that man since he was a boy of 17. I lost him 3 months before his 56th birthday. 38 years..... We loved each other 38 years and now..... POOF..... He is gone. My heart aches for him. My heart longs for that precious, lovely man..... but he is simply gone. I know I will get through this. I know Father has a plan for me without him. I am a believer and believers don't grieve as unbelievers do for our hope is in Christ Jesus. I know I will see him again.... But I gotta say..... This sucks..... A lot.... I feel empty all the time. I haven't lost my faith. It's the only thing keeping me standing, but I feel sad all the time. I know I will survive this. I know I have purpose. I want to complete the purpose for which I was created. Lord, help all of us find you. In our pain, comfort us and give us strength. Help us find courage to keep moving when everything in us tells us to just lay down and stop. Aauuuuggghhhh! I just miss him so much, every single second since he looked at me last. Sweet Ronan Keith, I will always love you, into eternity.