Will I ever be OK again??

Discussion in 'Finding it Difficult to Move Foward' started by nicolejrzgrl, May 9, 2020.

  1. nicolejrzgrl

    nicolejrzgrl New Member

    It's been 6 month's since my fiancé was suddenly and tragically taken from me. I think about him every second of every day!!! Some days are better than others,but I feel as though I'm obsessing or "OVER DOING IT" when ever I don't rest unless his memorial where he was killed at is decorated just right,or if a little bit of extra dust gets on his pictures, or ANYTHING pertaining to my baby. I am LOST without him and consumed with depression and loneliness. How do I move forward with ANYTHING? I lost so much weight. My God don't let me start to feel a tad better and have a dream about him, it sets me back 20steps the next day and for many days after once I wake up and realize thats all it was..... A dream I don't know what to do. I am really at my wits end and I'm desperate for help!!
     
  2. ainie

    ainie Well-Known Member

    Hi Nicole. So sorry to hear of your loss. It is so hard when we lose the person we shared our life with. My husband died October 11, 2019 so it has been about 7 months for me. It is good you are here. On this site everyone has unfortunately felt your pain.

    Do you have access to a grief group or counselling? Do you have family or friends you can talk to? It is always good to talk it through...helps to get your mind to stop circling. We all spend much of our time thinking about our loved one. Grief is a very personal thing and we all need to do it our own way. Just do the next thing...get out of bed, then go the bathroom, then eat something...just one thing at a time for now.

    Others on here are better with words than myself and I'm sure you will hear from others. Know that I care about how you are hurting. Keep reading the stories on here and keep coming back. Hugs.
     
  3. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member


    Nicole,

    I am troubled by the loss of your fiance and how it has taken ahold of your life and well-being. Losing someone special is life-shattering to each of us.

    From your own words I sense you may have reached the depression stage after loss. Let me share with you my own personal turmoil with depression.

    https://www.griefincommon.com/threads/depression.1785/#post-11561

    Sometimes we all need professional help. I recommend you see or talk with your doctor over the phone or the internet, depending upon your location and Stay-at-home requirements during isolation. If you are able to make an appointment and physically go see the doctor please do so. You and your life are too important to neglect.

    Even after the loss of our loved one, we all have setbacks that take any progress we have gained away. That is your grief controlling you. It is so crushing at times. Those moments and times like that are warning signs to you and your life. You need to reach out to those who can actually help you professionally. So even though you feel helpless, you are admitting you need guidance. So today, or soon, pick up your phone, call your doctor, and if you don't have one, call the hospital. Tell them how you are feeling EMOTIONALLY, and WHY.

    Loss is never easy. We each have our limits, but just knowing by reaching out all you are doing is asking for help. Please continue to talk with family and friends, and keep them as close as possible during these times. Also, keep talking to help release those emotions you are building inside you over time. I hope for the best for you.

    -david

    Here is a peaceful melody for you.

     
  4. nicolejrzgrl

    nicolejrzgrl New Member

    Hello David,
    Thank you for the reply. I actually see a therapist once a week and a psychiatrist once a month. I've been for a very long time. I understand its a process. My fiancés death hit me the hardest out of anyone I have ever loss. Not saying I love those loved ones any less not at all. It's just really taking a toll on me is all. Thank you again. Have a great day.
    Nikki
     
  5. nicolejrzgrl

    nicolejrzgrl New Member

    Hello Ainie,
    Thank You for your time replying, I'm not going to lie I and torn to pieces and devastated. I do see a therapist once a week. That helps when I bring it up. I go for other reasons to. Some days I'm OK but most I'm not. Again thank you so much and I will be coming back
     
  6. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad you are in therapy hopefully it will help with the healing process. I lost my fiancee almost two months ago and I agree with you it's a different kind of loss. I told someone this not to long ago. My dad died day s after my fiancee and I dont think I've had time to mourn for him because my fiancee's death hit so hard. I became a single parent in the worse way. I also feel like I'm mourning for me and my kids kids. I pray for strength every day though. Praying for you and feel free to reach out anytime.