Hi everyone!
I wanted you to understand some more about me. When I look back over my life I have often wondered why I am still here today. Why me and not someone else?
It all starts as a young boy. My sister Marcia and I were in Banger making our way to the Soap Box Derby being held there. We both came to a divided road, each two lanes in either direction. Like a fool, I watched the traffic or so I thought I did. The roadway had a hill at the top. So without telling my sister I sprinted into the road, passing the first two lanes and just missed getting hit by a car in the 2nd set of lanes. Sure, Marcia yelled at me, but my heart raced and that was my first brush with a close call. It could have gone so badly, and we never told our parents.
I was chased by a group of six boys still a young boy. They cornered me and beat the living crap out of me. But it taught me to be more wary of life and its’ dangers. As I grew, I started getting bulkier, more muscular, and kids stopped chasing me and left me alone. But I never looked to ever taking revenge, as it served no purpose for me.
So I took up baseball with my best friend, both of us pitchers and hitters. We would play homerun derby as we pitched to each other. We joined the same teams as a package deal, we played together and grew up together. In short we did everything together.
Then one day David, also my name, his younger brother died, and then his father. Sure I tried to console him, but his family needed his help now for whatever he could do. My best friend and I slowly grew apart, due to life. You think time as it passes takes so many memories away, but I will never forget our times together, even after he moved away.
I shall skip some deaths to keep my intent of ‘Why me and not someone else? As I grew, we moved from one neighborhood to another. I acquired a paper route about 1.5 miles long. So each day I would wake at 4 am, collect my papers and deliver to all my customers.
One day I would learn a man had stabbed the milkman on my route. The milkman would deliver milk in glass bottles in them days. Not sure if it was before or after I had passed that area and finished my route but it happened while I was on my paper route. I never found out how bad the milkman was injured only that my mother told me to be extremely careful that early in the morning.
Many more deaths would occur in my life, some close, some related. When I ask, ‘Why me and not someone else? I believe in fate and that we are destined for a purpose, and our lives are already written in the annals of time.
Looking back, when my grandfather had his heart attack. I was 10. He asked me to get his shotgun and shoot him, he was in so much pain. There was no 911 at that time. I panicked, ran out of the house, as grandmother was in town shopping.
I ran from house to house, yelling, pounding on the doors. It was not till the 4th house an adult answered my cries and helped my grandfather. If I had been fishing on the shore, or outside playing I may not have been there to run for help. I say I was supposed to be inside the house that day.
Forward, we were visiting my dad’s parents in Bangor. We had an old car with a strap that was attached to the back of the front bench seat. Dad would drive a bit too fast. My two sisters and I were sitting behind my parents.
Dad came to a hill, and the door I was sitting at opened. I had the window half down. I was propelled holding onto the door window outside the car a bit. Dad, was amazing. He reached behind him, grabbed the open door with me on it, and pulled it shut. I never forget that day, that moment, and how dad saved me.
There were other incidents too numerous to mention. As an adult. During my 2nd tour in Vietnam. I worked in a communications van along with others. We worked shift work. I had just got off work about an hour and a half. A 122 rocket hit my work van killing
https://www.virtualwall.org/dd/DewRE01a.htm His name is on the Vietnam Wall with others I know. Three others were wounded.
I still have memories of that day, the death of my coworker. I guess I was lucky it happened after I left work. I did lose one other friend from high school that same tour, my 2nd. He also is on the same Vietnam Wall but for privacy I will not post that name. It is a time that is etched in my memory forever.
Many other deaths happened, as life moves forward. Now to the passing of my father. He was my hero in life. I will never be able to say enough. When he was told of his stage 4 lung cancer on Vallentine's Day, he passed from it two days later. He never told me, or my sisters, just my older brother. There are days I resent knowing that knowledge.
So I took care of mom after dad asked me, but with so much going on in my life, married, 2 sons, going to school, part-time job, taking care of mom, everything just came crashing down one day.
Nadine had made my favorite meal. But as I ate it I forgot to chew my food, swallowed, and started choking. Nadine, now nurse trained, expelled the food that day. But as fate would have it I had two more choking episodes, and again she expelled it the 2nd time, but was only able to clear my airway enough so I could breathe. I got rushed to the emergency room. They removed the food, and again I was to live another day. So Nadine had saved me 3 times.
Fast forward to us moving from Maine, to Florida for 11 years. After one year we learned Nadine had cancer. This lasted for 10 years, but to be honest she had been sick off and on too much in the past that it just was not normal.
Over the course of the 10 years we had 4 different insurance companies due to her main company having so many healthcare costs they had to shop for other insurers. We always reached our limit with each.
Nadine also had been on the Liver transplant list 3 times and worked her way to the top once, but cancer would always take that hope finally away on the 3rd time. So, When I ask, ‘Why me and not someone else? I believe I know I had been destined to be here with Nadine each step of the way.
If I had passed from those close occurrences of mine I could not have helped my grandfather, my wife, made it out of Vietnam and be here for both of my sons to face life forward.
My youngest has told me on multiple occasions he has thought of suicide for many reasons, his mom, his bullying when he was younger, if either me or his brother were to pass. My oldest has said when he overheard his mom beg for her life to the insurance company on one phonecall, he died that day, and no longer cared for life anymore.
Sure life and death has taken me places I hate to think about. One of the toughest things each of us faces after loss is how to go forward. I still believe I am a little bit touched by death, meaning depression is lurking but not yet taken control of me anymore. My emotions vacillate so easily. But that is ok with me. When I am ready, I will ask my doctor if I need to be treated again. I just know I will be the rock my sons' search for, each and every day. I pray each day, for them, for me, and for all you who lost someone in life.
Peace to you all.
-david
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