4 1/2 years ago, my mother passed away unexpectedly complications of renal failure. My younger sister and I were both in her mid 30s when she passed she was only 57 when she died. We knew this day was gonna come because she was very sick for most of her life. She had typing diabetes since she was 16 months old had numerous heart attack bypass surgery and with all that together just shut her body down. We were not expecting to get that phone call that morning. She passed most the time when we get that call. It’s in the hospital or not feeling good, never expected to hear. I’m sorry, but your mom is gone. I feel like I blocked out the first year of her passing because it was so angry and upset. My husband and I were having marital problems. I lost my job and we lost our home. We were struggling to survive, and then my mother died Hurt me even more. I’ve never been able to fully grieve her passing because I’ve had to struggle justify myself. I feel like I failed my mom. She would be so disappointed with my life right now. I just don’t know how to get out of it. I just wish I was happy again, I wish she was here.
Hello Subee17, I'm glad that you found this outlet. You'll find a group of kind and caring people. Nobody judges you because we all understand that each person's experience of grief is different. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother, as well as the ensuing loss of your job and your home. I can imagine the unpredictability of your situation just compounds the grieving process. Many relationships do not survive the intensity and silo'd styles of grieving. I hope the two of you can recover what's authentic and support each other with respect, trust, and love. One positive (if that's possible...) is you stated that your mother had been ill for most of her life. Although a challenge for the whole family, you were given all this time together to impact each other positively and share a bond only a mother and child can have. When I lost my mother to cancer she was only 47, I was 23 at the time. We were best friends and confidants, despite the rampant depression and alcoholism/drug abuse in the family. We survived financial collapse (my father embezzled and bankrupted the family business). We had to live in public housing for about a year until we got back on our feet. She always put me first and exuded unconditional love. She passed away in 1986, so I've had decades to reflect and process that time of great change. On her final day she gave me a great gift. When she took her last breath I saw her misty white spirit body lift up out of her body and fly home. It was solidified for me at that moment that there was definitely a 'next' stop on this coil of life. And that experience in total has helped my process and heal from my recent loss of my partner of 30 years, Edward. I will pray for all of these compounding issues and events are resolved quickly and cleanly. Do what you must to take care of yourself, you're dealing with quite a handful of what life throws at us when we don't expect it. You have dealt with other difficult situations in your life and have recovered, so take hope my friend. Blessings ~ Michael
Your mother will be proud of you because you survived the toughest moment. You lost your mother: death is so final. If you want to chat, please let me know. Do you like it is one thing after another?
