I lost my oldest son in 2013 when he was 20. The only reason I kept getting up each day was so that my other 2 children didn’t lose their shine in death’s darkness. I as if my joy was back when my first grandson was born in 2017. He became my world. My daughter and him lived with us so he was with me always. Then in October 2018, his mother’s boyfriend shook him to death. My world is shattered. I am having trouble understanding all of this. I not only have to grieve, but I have a daughter that I need to take care of because she now knows the pain I never wanted her to have. We also have a looming trial. I try to keep it together for my daughter. I see a therapist but I need people who can relate. People who I can be blunt with. People who have walked in these shoes.