What of the Isolation

I am starting with a song and a prayer this thread - the song



From their homes - the prayer



I imagine each one of us with children are always concerned for them during this period. We might have lost our mate, or our child, or even someone else so very special it has taken us down to the core of our soul. Being shut in is driving us, I am stir crazy, I know it is me. I tend to question everything. But I try to always hold hope at the top of my list.

When I write I need to have music fill my ears for so many thoughts course through my mind each day. My heart aches like I am sure your does some days, and tears fill my eyes, but I am always brought back from the brink of despair by the thoughts of life and what it still holds.

My sons, my siblings, my friends, and of course all of you who reach out in your time of need. Today, as my youngest told me he had been feeling achy, and had a fever now of 99.1 man, I just don't know. I am sitting here unable to close my eyes yet for my mind is racing with stupid what-ifs.

I don't truly know what tomorrow will bring as you don't know as well. I know we are hoping warmer weather will break soon. This Great Unknown virus will give us a break and subside for now. But I really do hate not being able to know the truth. I will keep the faith, and keep hoping this is just perhaps some fatigue or even the flu, but I will be beside myself and I am sure you would as well.

Tomorrow, yes what of tomorrow. Words are not easy some days for us all. Perhaps I am just a being foolish and trifling over nothing.



I will sign off for now. I will hope for the best. Goodnight all, till tomorrow. Peace be with you and God Bless and watch over every one of you.

-david

 

Son this morning, no fever, no aches. I will admit I did pray a bit last night. I don't know life sometimes has no explanation for why things happen. Today I can now hear both sons laughing and joking upstairs. Who knows.

-david

 

Your family and you are in my prayers brother, may you find yourself some outside time, try going on a walk, get out from your house, I was having a hard time myself for the last 3 days but decided to get out yesterday, my Aimees grave is about 20 minutes away so I went to go clean the site and talk to her. It helped, I really can't wait till they get that headstone up, I really want to plant beautiful blue flowers up there (Amiees favorite color).Just getting out and stretching my mind, body and soul.

Again brother thankyou for your songs and uplifting words.

-Jonathan

 

Jonathan,

I want you thank you for responding. Today (using it as a general depiction of our lives in this environment) our thoughts and heart are on such a roller coaster ride that you never know when to be ready for the next hill, the next drop of your stomach as the space falls below you. I say, we all just take it as we get it.

I know it has to be hard for you but after loss it is normal for you. Aimee, will be forever in your heart, Nadine my wife will be for me. I also talk with her when I feel I need to reach out. It is so natural for us to be sad one moment, then desperate, and perhaps melancholy - our feelings move us, they cloud our eyes, they hold our heart tight, and they also bring a smile to our face.

There are no roads to follow. We only have each other to reach out to when we need.

The flower idea is a beautiful idea. Tomorrow will bring what it will, but as long as we face it with others, it won't be so bad.

Take care of yourself Jonathan. Peace brother.

-david

From one of my groups - sometime music is what we need

 

David,
OMG! I can’t imagine, hearing your son say he has a fever and feels achey. I’m right there with you, in how you felt. This is such a tough world we’re living in right now. I can’t even imagine how you got any rest last night.
As you know I was up crying for my hurt dog for a couple nights, this is your son! Happy to hear he seems ok this morning. I do believe in the power of prayer, and your prayers were answered.
I see how close you are to your sons, and that’s a breath of fresh air. Sounds like you’re as close to Mike and Chris as I am to my children Stacey and Ron Jr. That’s wonderful!
Happy things seem ok today!
Feels like we get tested every single day.
Robin

 

Robin,

Thank you! There are some things in life that we have no idea of the value to each one of us. I think after losing Nadine I have clung strongly to my sons and they to me. Chris is my youngest. Even as an adult, he still brings back memories to me of the moment I was heading back to South Korea.

I was in the BWI Airport, we each had our hugs and kisses, and he just wouldn't give up. He sat upon my shoe, grabbed the back of my leg and would not let go. So I walked with him in full uniform all the way to the gate like that - I know others took pictures, but it is the memory that will stay with me forever. It was hard departing that day. I got back safely, but the last part of that tour was brutal emotionally.

Yes, Robin, life today is just too potentially fragile. Take care.

-david

 

David,
Your story is so touching. I can picture it vividly. As a child I used to stand on my Dads feet and he would walk with me. Wonderful memories. And Stacey would do the same with Ron.
I recall when my brother was leaving for Chicago, Air National Guard basic training, I cried and cried in the airport. I was young and felt so scared for him. Each time he came home for a weekend I’d cry when he went back. I can still feel those emotions. I can just imagine a child with his Dad leaving, they don’t understand.
I lost my Dad when I was 36: Ron passed when Stacey was 34 and Ron Jr 31. And I know the impact of your Dad passing. It’s so difficult, we all had so more to learn from them, to do with them, I was going to say, we were all too young. But truth be told, we’re always to young to lose a parent.
Forever still isn’t long enough
Robin