Hello friends~ Today is an especially difficult day for me. Although I am an open book by nature, I don't usually post my dirty laundry on the internet in search of empathy and/or finding a lasting friendship. However, I've never felt so lonely or lost in my entire life. Today is my birthday. I have always loved celebrating my birthday. But today I want to get back into bed and cry myself to sleep. My daughter alexis died this past April....just 3 months ago. My grief is constantly changing. Right now I'm in the phase where I long to hear her voice and hear her on the phone with a bright, " Hi mom...". No one has ever loved or appreciated me with the fierceness that Alexis loved me with. I miss that and the being that she was. She died of an overdose of xanax and oxy. I just wish I could have an adult conversation with somebody...anybody...that can empathize. My husband is her step father and they didn't have the best relationship. My marriage is and has been hanging on thread. None of my friends can empathize. They try to be there or be kind but I am on an island all by myself. I don't know how to navigate this new world. I am sorry for the sob story. I figured it can't hurt to put myself out there and pray and hope something wonderful comes of it. Thank you for reading this and please don't judge me too harshly. I wasn't prepared to lose my 20 year old...my best friend...my everything.