What I would give to turn back time...

Discussion in 'Loss of Adult Child' started by Nicole Evans, Jul 14, 2017.

  1. Nicole Evans

    Nicole Evans Member

    Hello friends~
    Today is an especially difficult day for me. Although I am an open book by nature, I don't usually post my dirty laundry on the internet in search of empathy and/or finding a lasting friendship. However, I've never felt so lonely or lost in my entire life.
    Today is my birthday. I have always loved celebrating my birthday. But today I want to get back into bed and cry myself to sleep. My daughter alexis died this past April....just 3 months ago. My grief is constantly changing. Right now I'm in the phase where I long to hear her voice and hear her on the phone with a bright, " Hi mom...". No one has ever loved or appreciated me with the fierceness that Alexis loved me with. I miss that and the being that she was. She died of an overdose of xanax and oxy. I just wish I could have an adult conversation with somebody...anybody...that can empathize. My husband is her step father and they didn't have the best relationship. My marriage is and has been hanging on thread. None of my friends can empathize. They try to be there or be kind but I am on an island all by myself. I don't know how to navigate this new world. I am sorry for the sob story. I figured it can't hurt to put myself out there and pray and hope something wonderful comes of it. Thank you for reading this and please don't judge me too harshly. I wasn't prepared to lose my 20 year old...my best friend...my everything.
  2. Frankie

    Frankie New Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand of feeling alone. Everyone grieves differently and can take a very long time. I lost my Son 1 May 2017. We talked once or twice a week and it was mellow conversation and I miss that the most. I don't know how to fix things because I don't know what i want. I know we will never get over it but learn to live with it. That might take so.e time.
    Not many people understand when I just want to leave the house or I ha e anxieties when I'm around groups of people.
    I wish I could tell you something that would help. I do know that we can learn how to be happy again. I pray and attend a grief support group twice a month. That helped for a while. I'm regressing. I use to be so outgoing and very social.
    I will pray for you and try to send positive vibes your way.
    Thank you Frank
  3. JeanieGurl

    JeanieGurl Guest

    I am very sorry for your loss.
  4. JeanieGurl

    JeanieGurl Guest

    No time to say goodbye. I regret this so much.
  5. JeanieGurl

    JeanieGurl Guest

    He was doing so well.....why???
  6. ScottsMom119

    ScottsMom119 Member

    Why didn't I make him go back to another hospital when the first one turned him away? I will never forgive myself for that, although he refused when I tried to get him to go.