Was not supposed to be like this.

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Kris with a K, Aug 4, 2020.

  1. Kris with a K

    Kris with a K Member

    We both retired, and moved into our brand new home. Life was only just beginning for us. My best friend, my love of 38 years passed away suddenly from a blood clot. I am trying to figure this out, but it is hard, my heart is broken. It will be 10 months, and I still can’t believe it.
    Thanks for letting me share.
     
  2. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry we're here at this point in our lives. My wife died 9 months ago from a brain aneurysm. We were together almost 25 years. I was going to stop working in just 2 more years and spend all my time with her. You're not alone. I know how you feel and hurt. I still have more bad days then good ones but I'm trying hard to find a new life and identity. I spend a lot of time in shock and numb still to this day. I'm hoping we both can find peace, love, and happiness again. The power of prayer is a true and real thing. Our hearts have a big hole in them but we will live on. ✌
     
  3. Kris with a K

    Kris with a K Member

    Hi Barry, Yes, I am so sorry we’re here. I was always so sad to hear about someone losing a spouse or loved one. Always prayed for them and their loss, But never in a million years did I think it would happen to my family. I thought we would live and experience everything together. Our happy, loving family. It has been so hard for me to navigate this new. Especially with COVID-19.

    Wow, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. No words.

    Thanks for chatting and your kind words.
     
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  4. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

    Sure! That's why we're all here. To talk and listen to other people who "get it" and understand how devastating this is. When other people grieve and then go back to their lives we have no life to go back to. Life as we knew it is over and we must start a new. It's horrible!! Have a "good" day today! Peace.
     
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  5. Kris with a K

    Kris with a K Member

  6. susananne

    susananne Member

    So sorry for your losses . my husband died suddenly just over 8 weeks ago from a likely heart attack/ cardiac arrest, he was only 64 , totally, totally heartbroken , and yes covid makes it worse. Big empty vacumn in my life, I dont think i will ever recover from this, not in any meaningful way . Life seems kind of pointless right now. guess thats not much help= but i suppose i am trying to say you are not alone, i totallly get it,
     
  7. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

    Right now, where you are, life can seem pointless. I don't even remember my first 2 months in grief. Suddenly pushed into a life alone we are in shock. Everything is new but please believe it will get better. The big, empty hole in our hearts will probably never go away but we need to live on. There's no other choice. Try to count your blessings and take each day one at a time. Sometimes you'll have to do one hour at a time. The power of prayer is a real and true thing. Pray. I know this for a fact and tho I'm a spiritualist, I have been praying consistently since the death of my sweet wife, Peg. Things have gotten better in my life and I'm just trying to be happy with whatever the universe provides for me. I completely understand and know how you feel. Hope you have a good day today. Make it happen! Peace.
     
  8. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

    When I say I don't remember the first 2 months it's because I was in shock. I hope you took it that way. I guess I just fumbled around on autopilot. Numb and just doing the things that needed to be done. Thank God for shock and the people around me. It/they kept me alive.
     
  9. susananne

    susananne Member

    thank you for your kind words, they all helpnavigating a big empty road, where. you can often feels so alone
     
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  10. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Susananne,
    I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you’re feeling. I also lost my husband suddenly to a massive heart attack, started with stomach virus type symptoms, then his chest. I called 911 and they got him to the hospital but he was taken from me in 2 hours. He was 63. Like Barry mentioned, I also went into shock and barely remember the first few months after his passing.
    We were together 24/7 and there’s a huge part of me missing. I miss every single thing about him. And remember everything we did on our last day together. I didn’t find this site until 11 months after he passed. I was not doing well at all. This site has become my life saver, everyone on here knows the pain, the loneliness the need to talk about our loss and spouse. Your loss is very resent but eventually there will be better days ahead. But I’m thinking the hole will stay.its hard to find a purpose after losing our soul mate. I use my husband as my inspiration, he would want me try to move forward. In fact we had talked about that. But it’s hard. He’s the reason I do everything I do. I still want him to be proud I’m his wife. He’s my everything. I also started praying more then ever and it has helped me. Try to get outside and get fresh air, it does help. Take each day as it comes, don’t pressure yourself to do too much.
    There will be better days ahead, you’ve only just started this terrible journey. Take care of you. ❤️
     
    Barry likes this.