Hi everyone. I'm new here. I know lots of you have experienced such significant losses, and I feel like maybe I am just being ridiculous for having such strong feelings about my grief over losing my grandfather, but here is the story: The day after Thanksgiving 2016, I got a phone call from my mom around 11:00am. It's unusual to get a phone call from my mom that early on a holiday, so I knew something was wrong. She told me that my grandfather passed away, unexpectedly, while he was home alone. My grandmother and aunts were out Black Friday shopping. They arrived home to him on the floor, bruised and bleeding. My grandfather was everything to us. The kindest, most giving man, most empathetic and amazing man in the world. There's not a day that goes by when I don't think of him, and even now, I randomly sob wondering if he's in a better place. The whole thing has shaken my 12 years of Catholic school and Catholic upbringing. I'm really struggling and engaging in somewhat destructive behavior. My anxiety is at an all time high. I just miss him terribly, and I know that my mom is having a very difficult time as well. If there is anyone who could offer some coping mechanisms I could use or any uplifting words of support, I would greatly appreciate it. I deal with death terribly. I was 28 when I lost my first grandparent. I was 31 when I lost my second, and 34 when I lost my grandfather that I speak of today. I am lucky to have had them for so long, but it makes my grief that much more intense. Please help.