Keith, I am so sorry for your loss. It's been 7 months now and I still am "what if?" It's like my mind is stuck and when I think I've worked something through, it comes back again. I want answers I'll never have in this life and it is so difficult. I miss him so much. I always knew I would miss him if I lost him, but it has been so much harder than I ever imagined. I still don't see how I will ever feel any sort of happiness again. I know he would not want that, but it doesn't really help.