My partner of over 37 years passed away December 24th, 2019 at 1pm. We knew it was coming. He was in home hospice. But I didn't expect it so soon. No one had really given me a reason to. He had been fighting a brain tumor for almost 4 years. We did everything together. He worked in the same building we lived in. I don't know how to move forward. I cry all the time. I struggle just thinking this is real. I can't fathom not seeing him and talking to him every day. And I struggle with guilt. Did I do enough? Why would I be short with him sometimes? I can hear him saying, "Please don't be short with me." and it stabs me in the heart. I was supposed to start with a grief group but because of social distancing, it was cancelled. I do talk to a counselor on the phone. I write him a letter every morning. I talk to him all the time. I know it's still fresh so my feelings probably aren't unusual, but I can't imagine I'm ever going to feel any differently.