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Tomorrow is the 4th anniversary. Long post.

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by Kerston Abbott, Aug 31, 2018.

  1. Kerston Abbott

    Kerston Abbott New Member

    I’m 29 years old and my mom passed suddenly on September 1st 2014 at the way to young age of 42. I feel like I never had time to grieve. After my mom passed my dad became an alcoholic as did my then 18 now 22 year old brother who by the way has had 2 DUIs. (My mom and dad were together since they were teenagers.) My grandmother (moms mom) got diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer and stage 1 breast cancer. She then had a stroke due to chemo. She’s cancer free now!! I had to take her to appointments weekly and now deal with her never being the same after her stroke when she was the one who I turned too the most after mom passed. 2 great grandmothers and 1 great grandfather passed away. My dad had seizures for unknown reasons and had to be taken to appointment after appointment. I took and continue to take everything out on my husband who I’ve been married to for nearly 11 years. I can’t have children. (Been trying for 11 years.) Oh then my grandfather (married to my grandmother who had the stroke and cancer!!) had a routine surgery that went horribly wrong and had to stay over 2 months in the hospital which led to me having to go back and forth for drs appts, visits, and caring for my grandmother. All this in a 4 year time span!! Like what even is that shit?! I feel like I still haven’t fully processed all that has went on but mostly the death of my mother. I’m not the same person I was and never will be and I get that. But when will I stop thinking about it what feels like 100 times a day?! When will I stop having severe anxiety and horrible anger toward the people I care most about?! When will I not be jealous of people who have their parents?! Oh and did I meantion I’m a 911 dispatcher so I deal with stressful shit 12 hrs a day?! Sorry for the long post but it needed come out!!
     
  2. Sciguy

    Sciguy Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear of all your trouble. With all you are going through, perhaps seeing a counselor would be beneficial. Sometimes we simply can't deal with everything on our own.