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This is hard

Discussion in 'Loss to COVID-19' started by Sweetcole, May 15, 2020.

  1. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    I had to go into work for a couple days this week. This was my first time since losing my fiancee. I had a melt down the first day. I got overwhelmed. He normally wakes up talking to me r I wake him before I leave. Plus he's normally the one to take the kids to daycare. Not having him here to help me really hurts. I kept having the urge to call or text him while at work.
     
  2. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member



    Sweetcole,

    Sorry for the loss of your fiancee and your father. Also having two children to care for and raise is such an enormous task for anyone, no matter what the circumstances ever are.

    I hope you have some family or friends to reach out for help. If they are not close enough, at least by phone or the internet the connection with them can help. Talking with us also can be helpful as well.

    With the loss of both of them so close to each other time really does tend to stand still at times. While you may acknowledge one, the other loss can also hold you back in coming to terms with either loss. There are no easy answers for you.other than keep talking and asking for help from others.

    You might surprise yourself how strong you really are. Sure you are crushed by the loss of both of them, but you are still tending and caring for two beautiful young children and yourself as well. That in and of itself is such a daunting challenge.

    I know that faith can help. Faith in yourself is also the most important. Trust in your judgment, but don’t be afraid to ask others what they think. There is nothing ever wrong with questioning yourself and others, for you are just trying to do the best any person can do when faced with such a situation.

    Trying to face coworkers is of course very hard. It is too easy to be tongue-tied, and not wanting to really say anything. So you leaving work is perfectly normal.

    Having lost the support of both your father and fiancee is hard. But the fact you are still surviving and facing another day is a testament to your will. Just keep reaching out. Keep letting those pent up emotions release no matter where you are. I know after my wife passed her alarm clock was still set, I never had the heart to ever change it.

    So look out for your well being. Take your time slowly so you lessen the chance of being overwhelmed with life. Peace be with you today and the days that follow.


    -david


    A song for you


     
    Singh50 likes this.
  3. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your words of encouragement. You seem to be one of the only people that understand where I'm coming from . I became a single parent in the worse way. My kids r definitely what keep me strong and going. I have people to talk to but not alot of help so I have to keep moving for my kids if nothing else. You right bout the questions. I no they say never question God but when it happens was I couldnt help but feel I was being punished 4 something. I no it has nothing to do with me though. It just hurt so bad. Thanks alot for listening to me.
     
  4. Laura-Lee

    Laura-Lee Member

    Sweetcole,

    I lost my husband too from Covid-19, March 28, and he had Leukemia which was unknown at the time. I'm crying as I'm typing this now. I have had PTSD for years along with ongoing trauma, but he saved my life from the perpetrators of it. I'm an adult foster child who was left alone in life till a prayer was answered, I still believe. He was my answer to that prayer. I was a single parent too back then. It's a very intense story and one in which he was heroic. When I was so alone I had heard that God helps, so I would literally call out loud to God for help, even in the presence of my children. At times I was physically weak and it felt like I was being given the strength to what I was too weak to do from God. None of what I'm saying is meant to convert anyone however. With PTSD I was unable to interact with people the way I used to be able to. So, I had no friends because it was such a painful struggle to even be in the same room with another human being. I was able to be around my children however. And, I didn't like making people uncomfortable with my struggle to interact.

    My condition has hugely improved thanks to an expert therapist on treating PTSD, Belleruth Naparstek. She produces inexpensive CDs for therapy for a number of issues as well as PTSD.
    I'm hoping that my husband is watching over me now. It's so hard to go on without his help. He's the only person who has ever valued me. With the exception of my children. But, that's another part of my story.
     
  5. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry for your loss. Your husband died the same day I loss my dad. It wasnt to Covid but the virus made it hard to be there for him. Things are so strict during this time. It hurts not being a able to be by your love ones side. I feel like I let my fiancee down in the end cause I wasnt by his side. I miss him so much. I feel like I haven't been able to mourn for dad because I'm so heart broken for losing my fiancee. Mayb the Lord did it this way for that reason. I actually feel more at peace with dad's death. I'm praying for that same feeling for my fiancee one day. Taking one day at a time though. I'm sure your husband is looking over you. Hopefully things will continue to go well with your condition.
     
  6. Laura-Lee

    Laura-Lee Member

    Thank you so much!
     
  7. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    You are welcome! Reach out a a ytime
     
  8. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    Sorry I meant anytime
     
  9. Time heals

    Time heals Member

    So sorry for your loss. I’m praying that you will get the strength you need to make it through this process.
     
  10. Salemkitty

    Salemkitty New Member

    Thank you so much!!! I echo your prayer for me, but for you too!