This grief is going to kill me

My husband got sick with cancer just a little over 2 years. I had faith that he would recover and the doctors would help
As time passed he lost a lot of weight to the point he needed a feeding tube. The treatment would make him even sicker. When he passed I was still in disbelief that he passed and I would be living without him. Im still waiting to find him here at him. I'm frozen i don't want to do anything. I'm gaining a ton of weight and getting off the couch is hard. I have no focus and i miss him sooo much it hurts.

 

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. I understand the disbelief and the feeling of losing your future. These early days can be overwhelming. Try to do one thing for you, one thing for him each day. Nothing will bring him back, but you can gain some peace by living the way that you both lived when he was here. I lost my husband in July, to a treatment complication of lung cancer. It was unexpected and he had been doing so well. I know everyday he would want me to live a good life, continue loving him, but he would not want me to be so upset I couldn’t live. Your husband likely wanted the same for you. You will find lots of understanding here. Remember to eat healthy, drink water, rest and don’t spend too much time alone. Your main focus is surviving this terrible grief. Praying for you.

 

It's not like me to reach out so thank you.

 

Sounds like you pulled together the strength you needed and got done what needed to be done. You should be proud of yourself, great job! I’m so sorry your friend canceled on you last minute. Sadly another lesson learned, only person we can 100% count on is our selves. I hope you got the Wi-Fi set up and security. I’m glad you felt a closeness with Michael and you pushed through.
Doing these things and thinking of what you accomplished can be emotional but also a plus. Many times were stronger then we give ourselves credit for. I’m happy for you.
I bet Michael is smiling and proud of you. ❤️