The World Wants You to Get Over it

My dad passed in December. It has been hell to say the least. His birthday was in March. I find that society wants to put a time frame on my sadness. A doctor wanted to put me on medication. I wanted to scream at her and tell her that my best friend, my buddy passed away and a pill isn't going to make me happy. Why is society so hard on those that are grieving? It really angers me to no end that we are so hard on each other. This is why there is so much anxiety in the world. You are not allowed to have your feelings. You have to be perfect in some ways. I now just lie to my doctor and say I am doing better. We have to somehow cure you of losing your loved one like its a disease that you are afflicted with. I will not feel ashamed for being so sad about losing part of my heart. I just want the world to have more understanding and compassion and most of all patience!

 

I feel ur pain. I just lost my best friend my mom

 

I am sorry for your loss. It helps to read the posts on this site and to just even vent. I knew that losing my parent would be hard but never imagined how hard it would be. I am learning through this process too. One thing I am learning is to be kind to myself. My thoughts are with you and feel free to post on this site. It has been helpful for me to read others stories. We are not alone.

 

a friend of mine told me that when her mom died, she suddenly understood why people used to wear black armbands. it wasn't showing off. it was a way of letting the entire world know 'i'm mostly functional, but i may suddenly have to take half an hour for a crying jag. and that's normal too.'

i get that. it lets you integrate grieving with the rest of your actual life, which is a much more healthy and natural way to go. the whole 'okay, time's up' thing isn't the way that most of life works. trouble is, i think most of us feed it unintentionally anyway. grief is such a horrible state sometimes, it's also natural to just want to do the whole thing in a single time chunk and move on.

 

My Mom died in December. Her Mom died when she was only 14, and as it was clear her time was close to an end I asked her for her advice on living without a mom. She told me the hardest part is that there is no timeframe for grief and everyone else will expect that it will take a few weeks, or months, and then you'll be back to normal. Until you've gone through losing someone that close to you, you can't understand what that process is like. I'm still learning it myself. Riverinohio, I totally understand and empathize with how you feel- I feel exactly the same. It helps to know others are going through the same thing on the same timeline.