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The pie theory of grief and perspective

Discussion in 'Grief in Common Updates, Questions & Answers' started by Jeffsjohnson, Aug 21, 2020.

  1. Jeffsjohnson

    Jeffsjohnson Active Member

    I like to think in conceptual terms, so think of this one as “pie” and “perspective.” Imagine your entire life was like a pie, with slices representing each thing you hold dear: your spouse, family, social, spirituality, work/hobbies, your health, the inner you, your role in society, etc. Each slice has a natural size, but the pie never gets bigger or smaller. So, when one slice gets bigger the others must get smaller.

    For me, grief over my wife took over almost the entire pie & still does to a large extent. But what I’m beginning to realize is that by letting this happen I spend less time on the other slices, my family, social, health, hobbies, etc.

    This is where “perspective” comes in. Perhaps the goal is to put the grief slice of the pie in some sort of natural relationship with the others. It won’t go away, but it needs to have a natural size and relationship to the others. I don’t ever want the memory of my wife to fade, but I have a responsibility to me – and her – to get some sort of balance and perspective back into my life. Otherwise it will be empty.

    Do you agree?
     
    ainie and cg123 like this.
  2. Jonathan5757

    Jonathan5757 Well-Known Member

    Yes agreed, balance is always key to life & finding happiness again. But I do agree with you on the whole pie chart concept of how grief and other parts of your life can grow and Shrink depending on how much time and effort you dedicate to them. I've seen that with other aspects in my life I don't worry about certain things because I actually I'm thinking about my fiance that passed March 14th 2020 Aimee orme, 43.
     
  3. ainie

    ainie Well-Known Member

    I had 11,171 good days with my Sweetie, and one horrible day. I remind myself of this when I am very sad.