The man I loved, the love of my life.

Discussion in 'Suicide Loss' started by wasapi, Feb 4, 2019.

  1. wasapi

    wasapi New Member

    I was in my 60's when I met the man I felt I had waited for my entire life. John, also in his early 60's, lived around the block from me. When I was a child, my father died suddenly at Thanksgiving, leaving a hole in my heart. John filled it.
    A 3 yr relationship where I was happier then ever. We decided not to live together - we were in each others back yards anyway, but he embraced my 3 granddaughters with love, and they adored him. He got a puppy, Allie, and we raised her.
    He also had suffered from clinical depression. He told me I was his "cure". But in the end, he snapped and began being emotionally abusive. I was so hurt that it came out as rage. I said unforgivable, hateful things, and told him I no longer loved him and was "deleting him" from my life.
    Not long after, one morning Allie, our dog that lived primarily at his house, appeared at my house one morning, and I knew instantly. I ran to his house, calling 911. I was moments too late.
    Then, there was his note to me. Hurtful.
    Sorry to ramble.
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Julia, you're not rambling at all. That's what this site is for, to share your story. I am so sorry for this loss and all the pain and questions this type of loss leaves behind. It's hard to remember the good times and to remember all the love you shared, but I hope in time you can find that place of peace. It really can help to connect with those who have had a similar loss and that's just why we're here. I truly hope it can be a help to you. I wish you hope and healing in the days ahead~