The love of my life is gone

Dear Cathy and Tina and everyone on here. Firstly let me tell you how sorry I am about your loss. But reading how you felt about it, I wanted to tell you that I'm going through the same feelings as you. I lost my love of 53 years 6 months ago and I'm alone. No friends, no relatives: they moved or passed away. I start crying as soon as I wake up and all through the day and then at night I fall asleep crying. I believe that no one will ever understand our grief because we are all different and love and grieve our own way. But reading your posts lets me know that I'm not alone who lost a loved one and grieves like me. But I also have feelings of guilt that I can't explain to anyone because I know they wont understand and will not be able to help me. I think it will be like this for the rest of my life. I'm going through everyday like a zombie almost unconscious but everything in the house brings him back to me I cry for all the plans we had which are all gone and will never come back. So this will be my life if I can call it life. I know I'm not alone in asking WHY, which nobody can answer. I still find my incapable saying he is gone. My heart is broken into a million pieces and I know that no one can help me. But I do like to get back to this site to share in some way the grief we all feel. Bless you all.