The anniversary of my son's death

Discussion in 'Loss of Adult Child' started by Ann, Jul 25, 2016.

  1. Ann

    Ann New Member

    Not dealing very well I've been alone for most of the 4 years he's been gone Inotice I've gradually lost a little more of my self, me, every year looking back but tonight, this anniversary I feel I've come to a stop I'm waiting maybe for a sign or a thought or a conclusion I don't have any expectations of anyone reaching out to me it hasn't happened up to this point and if someone did I've had a lot of time to explore resources advice whatever tried pretty much everything it's exhausted me I don't want to think anymore about what I can I can't do anything about my pain and so far no one else has offered support thanks if there is some one out there reading this message know this I'm not expecting help I don't think there is such a thing
     
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Ann, I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss and for the pain you are feeling. While many talk about the healing power of time, I know for some there is no amount of time that can soften the pain, or fill the void they feel. I know there comes a point where there doesn't feel like there's anywhere else to turn, and that is exactly the reason this site has been created. Nothing will ever change what's happened or completely fill the emptiness of the type of loss you've experienced, but the hope is by connecting with others who have had a similar loss, you will find some support and not feel so alone.
    We are a brand new site, but new people are joining every day, and soon I am confident you will hear from others who will share your story and reach out to connect. Thank you for telling us your story and for being here.
     
    Frankie likes this.
  3. Ann

    Ann New Member

    Thank you
     
  4. Phyllis

    Phyllis New Member

    Ann, I am really thinking about you and that I feel your pain so very much. I just lost my 26 year-old son on June 17, 2016, and I already know for a fact that there is no getting over this pain. He was my one and only and we were very close. I really, truly believe I will never be the same person again in my life. It just blows my mind how the world continues but our worlds, at least mine for sure, have come to a crashing halt. Nothing matters to me anymore. It is so different from the way I ever thought. I just keep wondering, "who am I now?"

    Will continue to pray for you.

    Phyllis
     
    Lilian and Kellie like this.
  5. OK2CRY

    OK2CRY Member

    Hello Ann and Phyllis,
    I'm new to this site. I came looking for others who are experiencing the same pain I am. I lost my Jenny a year ago. She was only 30. We had so much more to do and I'm not ready for her to be gone! I thought the pain was softening with time but with the anniversary just passing, it started to intensify again. I feel very alone. Everyone else is moving on with their lives and I just feel stuck. I've been told to reach out and connect with others like me so this is my first attempt. Maybe we can comfort one another.

    CG
     
    Jazz and Kellie like this.
  6. Sandy18

    Sandy18 Member

     
  7. Sandy18

    Sandy18 Member

    Ann, this is my first time on this site. Just read your email and I share your feelings. July 23 marked the one year anniversary since we lost our 30 year old son. I have been struggling with grief and an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. I understand the depth of your sadness and hope we can begin to communicate with one another. I often feel very alone with my grief and would so appreciate someone to share my feelings with.
     
    Kellie likes this.
  8. Sandy18

    Sandy18 Member

     
  9. Sandy18

    Sandy18 Member

    Phyllis, tonight is my first time on this site. I just read your post and am so truly sorry for your loss. I also feel that I am forever changed since losing our 30 year old son last July 23, 2015. A year has just passed and the pain is just getting worse - so many dreams and plans are gone. I feel so empty without him and can't imagine ever healing from this loss. I'll keep you in my prayers. Sandy
     
    Kellie likes this.
  10. Veronica

    Veronica New Member

    Hello I'm veronica and this is my first time on this site never thought I would need it because I never thought I would be in this position. Well I lost my daughter on june 14th 2016 and she was only 20 years old, she was my rock she kept my life full of joy and now my life is at a complete hawk and I don't ever know if I'm going or coming. My heart has a whole in it that's the size of Mount Rush More and all I want to do is scream.I was robbed and want be able to experience some of the mother and daughter things that they do. My husband want get that chance to walk her down the aisle. And I just wanted to be able to talk to somebody whose been where I'm at or someone whose going though what I'm going though and I will pray for each and everyone whose going though the loss of their child because I can truly say I know how you feel.
     
    Kellie likes this.
  11. Kellie

    Kellie New Member

    I just lost my 30 year old son on August 16. He was my life. He lived with me and worked with me. Now I have no one. It is so hard, I feel the pain is getting worse every day. I have to go to work , with everything reminding me of him, and coming home, with everything at home reminding me if him. I cry all the way home from work and most of the evening. I just wish this pIn would end. I wish I could find something that would help
     
  12. OK2CRY

    OK2CRY Member

    I'm so sorry, Kellie . I lost my daughter a year ago at age 30. It's rough. It's not the natural way of life. I'm happy to share with you some of the things that help me each day. Please PM me if you want to. Sending many hugs your way ❤️
     
    Lilian likes this.
  13. PhyllisG

    PhyllisG Active Member

     
  14. CCM

    CCM New Member

    So many who are feeling the horrendous pain of losing an adult child. My heart and prayers for each of you. Our son died in December, 2010 at age 27. It has been a journey I would not want anyone to experience. BUT, it is a journey.
    I have found most family and friends do not understand. How could they? I didn't before, as well. So, I do not expect them to be the solace I need. God is the one I turn to. He knows my sorrow and comforts me as no other can do.
    Time does not heal grief. I encourage each of you to find your way to work on this horrible task of finding yourself and creating a "now normal" for yourself. I attended a GriefShare program at church. That helped me more than anything else could possibly do. It may not be right for everyone, but it helped me.
    Others have found help with groups for parents. Others have turned to counselors. I just encourage you to lean on something other than yourself. I have seen the damage that can happen when grief is internalized. This is not healthy. By being on this forum, you are acknowledging you need help. Please don't try to do it alone.
    Hugs to each of you sharing here. May you find some comfort in being on this forum.
     
    OK2CRY likes this.
  15. Mona

    Mona Member

    It's been ten years since losing my son and for some reason this year is proving very tough. Reaching out to anyone in Louisiana.
     
  16. PhyllisG

    PhyllisG Active Member

    Hey Mona, I am not in Louisiana (I'm in Alabama), but wanted to reach out to you nonetheless. I certainly know losing your child is a tough road. I am still in the first year - I lost my 26 year-old son (my only child) on June 17, 2016. His birthday is coming up on April 3rd and that date right now is looming over me like a cloud. But, then again, there is always something that makes it hard; a song, a movie, etc. My heart goes out to you and you are truly in my prayers. Please take care and come back to let me know how you are doing.
     
  17. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Mona, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. So often I hear of people struggling even as the months and years go by. We never "get over" our grief, and some losses are so big that it can be very hard to ever come to terms with it. I'm glad you have found our site. If you haven't already, please go to the "Make a Connection" tab and then click on "Find Others Who Are Grieving". I did a search of people who have lost a child in Louisiana and found a list of people you could reach out to and try and connect with. I wish you all the best. Please take care~
     
  18. Sandy18

    Sandy18 Member

     
  19. Sandy18

    Sandy18 Member

    Phyllis, I haven't been on this website for months, but just yesterday decided to log in. I noticed that today is the anniversary of losing you son. I know it will be a very difficult day for you. I am keeping you in my prayers that you can be strong and hold onto the wonderful memories you have of him. I will need to remember these words - July 23 will mark 2 years since losing our older son, Adam. Our lives are forever changed.
     
    griefic likes this.
  20. PhyllisG

    PhyllisG Active Member

    Thank you so very much Ann. Joey's dad and I had us a few really good crying sessions and I'm just going to try and focus on the fact that Joey - and all of us - are at peace. I will keep you in my prayers as well.