Sudden loss

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Didi, Jun 13, 2020.

  1. Didi

    Didi New Member

    hi everyone, I lost my boyfriend on 5/27/20 and had his memorial service on 6/12/20, so is been 2 days since I said goodbye for ever. I’m devastated , he was only 29 yrs old, he started with a stomach ache on Saturday and he was gone in days. I found him in the bathroom floor, he was dead. I can not look at his pictures or his things, every thing reminds me of him and the fact that he is gone and never coming back. I can not eat, I cry all the time , I’m taking sleeping pills to be able to sleep. I do not know how to keep going.
     
  2. Cora1961

    Cora1961 Well-Known Member

    Sorry for your loss. I know exactly how u feel when someone u love passes suddenly. My husband of 20 plus years passed in two days from telling us that he was going into hospice. We were all shocked and I think I still in and now it been 8 months. Miss him every day and it’s hard to keep a happy face or at least a normal face cuz nothing feels normal anymore. It’s hard when u see everyone else with their love ones and u feel so alone. Take it slow and just try to breathe every day. God bless
     
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  3. Didi

    Didi New Member

     
  4. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

    Hi. I know how you feel. My sweet wife Peg died suddenly too. Saturday morning she started with a headache, then ambulance to the hospital, she had a brain aneurysm, no operation could have saved her. She was brain dead and I pulled the life support on Sunday. I was in shock for a week. Didn't eat, sleep and don't remember what I did. The first weeks and months were horrible! I'm so sorry you're in this place. All I can tell you is take care of yourself right now. Eat right, sleep, shower and do whatever makes you feel good. Concentrate on yourself. Grieving is so hard on you and the only thing that helps is letting the time go by. One day at a time is all you concentrate on. I'm 7 months past her death now and I'm still taking one day at a time. Peace and happiness to you.
     
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  5. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Didi,
    I’m so sorry for the sudden loss of your boyfriend. I loss my husband suddenly. My husband started with an upset stomach too. He complained of virus like symptoms, that quickly changed to chest pains. I was able to call 911 and get him to the hospital, but from the start of not feeling well he was taken from me in 2 hours. We were together 44 years married 41.
    It is devastating to lose your other half, everything feels wrong, the loneliness is overwhelming. Everything you’re feeling is normal, everyone on this site understands that pain. You’re not alone, you’ve come to the right place, for support and compassion. Take things one day at a time, or one moment, don’t push to do too much. Grieving is so tiring,, try to take care of yourself. Get some fresh air, hopefully you have family and friends offering support. Talk to them and keep reading and sharing on this site. It is very helpful.
    Take care, Robin.
     
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  6. Cora1961

    Cora1961 Well-Known Member

    I don’t know about everyone else but this virus is getting old and depression. How are u suppose to get better with the way the world is today? Sometimes I feel like my mental health is getting challenged every day. Trying to just stay positive every day is a chore. Just need some release from all this stress and grief but don’t know how to get it .
     
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  7. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Cora,
    I’m right there with you. This virus and social distancing is making things worse and going on so long. I know people having difficulty right now who haven’t gone through a recent loss.
    So of coarse we’re having a hard time. What has helped me the most is, to take in nature. The parks in my area are open to visit, that’s what has been helping me. Don’t have to wear masks and breathing in fresh helps.
    Cora, I get where you’re coming from, hoping this ends soon. We all need it to end soon.
     
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  9. I am so sorry!! My neighbors found my husband dead May 29,2020.We would have been married 16 years July.We had went on a camping trip the following weekend with my brother and some friends from Nashville,Tn.We had a blast!! He was bipolar and didn’t take his meds like he should!!He just went crazy on me Thursday May 28 and I had to call the police and everything!! He busted 2 TV’s and was threatening to burn me up in the house and even tried to burn the rug in my kitchen!!! I am so angry because he told the police that he was gonna OD that night and they never took him into custody!!! And my neighbors found him dead the next morning!! I am here alone with only my dogs and if I sleep 3 hrs that is good. I never slept for 48 hrs.and didn’t eat for 4 days!!! I couldn’t!! I am living on jello,popcorn and popsicles. And I smoke and I am drinking coffee and Coke. I had my brother in law to put our pictures away because I can’t stand to look at them. I have 2 dogs and to be honest I am scared to be here by myself because I am scared that someone might break in on me and he has a lot of tools and things that people would steal. I have 3 nephews who are on drugs and I don’t trust them. I understand what you are going through. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am praying and reading Bible verses and it helps me to listen to gospel music. I will pray for you. I had to take Bonine which are motion sickness pills and I have IBS so I have to take those because everything I eat goes straight through me.So I started out with saltine crackers and now I am eating the jello and popsicles.Again I am so sorry.
     
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  10. Didi

    Didi New Member

    So sorry for your loss, thank you so much for sharing your story with me
     
    glego likes this.
  11. Thank you so much. I think I have came out of shock now but reality has set in!!! I keep telling myself that I am gonna be okay!! And you and everyone else On here know what I am feeling!! My heart is broken and I am mad at him for leaving me!! I don’t know what happened I wasn’t here! I don’t know if I put couldn’t get him awake!! it in the forum or not but our neighbor came to check on him at 10:30 pm Thursday night and said he was drinking Tequila and taking hand full of pills!! I tried calling them that night and they never answered my call.The neighbor came back Friday morning at 5:30 am and he was in the floor face down!!! He couldn’t get him awake!! He leaves comes back 3 hours later and Finally called 911 at 10:45!!! I don’t understand why in the world he didn’t call that morning!!! I just have so many questions with NO answers!!
     
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