I lost my son suddenly 4/2020 in the midst of the Covid 19 Pandemic and all it's struggles. He had 3 children. You see my story is different because I last saw my firstborn son 2 years ago Mother's Day. My son struggled with mental illness and after much verbal abuse and him not attempting to get professional help I reluctantly just let go. His father added to this by being in cahoots to convince my son I was the enemy. Because of years of estrangement and before that ups and downs it appears my family is less sympathetic to my grief. They have made comments that are very hurtful as losing a child during estrangement is very difficult in a different way. Regret of what could have been. Also, I have always reached out to people who loss family or friend and I was shocked to see how many people avoid me now. I have been very strong publicly. Due to my faith. So it's not like I'm depressed and scare them away. In fact, after being off work for a one week I returned and announced please everyone just be yourselves and if something is funny laugh. In fact, I will laugh! Still I find it is a selfish thing to not even give me condolences. My family and friends reactions and my family's insensitive comments have made my grief doubly hard and very shocking. I really don't even want to answer when they call. Additionally, my ex husband got next of kinship by manipulating my grandson. He planned everything and excluded me only inviting me to limited viewing as a guest. With the pandemic things are different when it comes to burials but he deliberately has excluded me and treated me as if I wasn't his mother. I don't even know where my sons cremated remains are. My closest sister seems to think because I didn't want his ashes to spend eternity in an urn that I shouldn't care where his remains rest. I am appalled, angry and bitter!