Sudden and unexpected

Yes, I just ordered the book through Amazon, waiting for it. You and others have talked about reading it I had to get it.

I just love our group here. I think we're very "Special" grievers. And I'm waiting for another typo from you, I need my giggles.

 

Gary, that is a remarkable story. I would like to believe in reincarnation; I've already told God what I want to come back as. Your conversation with your Uncle made my day. We need laughter, sense of humor and more to get us through this hell of a journey. K

 

Also, Lou I'm on the Center for Loss and really love the daily meditations or quotes.

 

Wow, Gary, this was your best post ever!
First, let me say how proud I am of you,
for overcoming your hesitation & fears
of meeting with your uncle, who sounds
like a funny guy like you are. Once again,
I'm honored that you took my advice of
ripping that bandaid of grief off, quickly,
before getting to the fun stories. I'm also
flattered that you have me credit for the
typo, which you & Deb use all the time.
Your dove story, in regard to Cheryl, was
very moving. I like the Native American
take on it, and your respect for their
belief. God bless. Correction: gave me
credit, not "have". Oh, brother. Lou

 

Karen, did you want to come back as a
bird, like Jack. I'd like to come back as a
duck, gliding on the water, in serenity,
with likeminded ducks (!). Who knows,
if I'm a mallard, maybe Linda could join
me as my female companion. Like
penguin, I think ducks mate for life. Lou

 

I keep thinking of one or two liner's. When I'm down and out during the day I think about all the funnies people say on this forum and I smile. With my cat, Rambo, who filters out the void in this house and your funnies I can get through my day with at least a couple of smiles. And I know you guys get some laughter in your days too.

 

Hum, ducks yes. If you and Linda are both ducks you could have little duckies. I'm thinking of a Hummingbird, fast and quick from predators.

 

That's wonderful, Karen! I can't wait to
hear your insights on Jonathan's book. His
story, especially at the heartbreaking
beginning, is so similar to mine, that I
emailed to thank him for his amazing
book & tell him he's like a "brother" I never had. He shocked me by emailing
back, with a personal note, saying he'd
be honored to be my " brother". I cried
at his kindness. You can see yet another
sloppy typo in my reply to Gary's post
about meeting with his uncle, Lou

 

Love the hummingbird, an unusual
creature, and much less obnoxious than
a woodpecker! Lou

 

Another typo, keep them coming--I'm giggling.

 

So happy you are in Center for Loss,
Karen! A woman, 59, was crying at the
Shack bar, sitting with her husband. I see
them at the bar every Friday night. I put
my hand on her shoulder & asked why
she was crying. She said her father had just died. I told her about Linda's death,
and we both cried. She suggested Center
for Loss, which has comforted her in her
grief. The following Friday night, I thanked
her. BTW, her name is Deb. Lou

 

As Linda used to say to me, "I must be
stopped!". She also affectionately called
me "crazy old coot" and "bananas"! L

 

Haaaaaaaaaaa! funny. I won't use Linda's names for you on this forum, I promise.

 

That's OK, Karen. I don't mind. I love to
make people laugh their "sad" off! I was
walking with Steven & Betsy by the ocean
today. Steven, from Pa, said "there's a
history of eccentric people in New
England". We both laughed when I said
I took umbrage at that remark. Linda
could be feisty, slightly manic, &
depressed. One day, I invited her to be an
"honorary member of the manic depression club". She wasn't thrilled. Lou

 

Another giggle. I can just see Linda's expression after your invite.

 

Karen,

I love!!! your story about Jackbird, total understatement!!! (I can't stop it, I've been saying this for so l o n g, that it's become a habit. The words seem to (almost) type themselves. It's definitely growing stale!!! (I almost said it again!!!) I'm waiting for the time when I can go an entire day without saying TU, but in the meantime, maybe I should spice things up a bit with this abbreviated version...

Still on the same subject, I love that you want to come back as a hummingbird and Lou wants to come back as a duck. I love pink flamingos!!!, TU!!! Once Bob and I rented a golf cart in Bonaire and drove all around the island. The pink flamingos were the absolute best!!! They were everywhere... I was told that they're pink because of dining on algae and shrimp. Just thinking..., I might want to come back as a pink flamingo... Another one of those TBCs..

Backing up a bit, this was one of the most perfect days Bob and I spent together.... Thinking about this day, is making me cry... I HATE "Mr, Grief!!!," TU!!!

I've been drinking lots of green tea and water today, so before I keep on rambling on and on and on, stopping here. I really need a new plumbing system!!! (left it out on purpose.)

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Hey Lou and the GICC
It is really weird the last couple daze... Doing all this stuff to be able to sell the house has kept me occupied. after a heavy time on Monday, I was able to actually converse with my son and then I had my grief group and it was cool to be around other people who were nice and positive. I have so much trouble around people I realized! I worry I'm gonna say a stupid thing and all 'll go hating on me! Such a CeeDee or Cognitive Distortion. It is actually harder to give in to those since Valerie died... I think we used to enable each others neurosis.
Your book suggestions are great. I almost finished TWN!

 

George I’m glad to hear you’re making the grief support meetings. I suffer from low self-esteem and insecurity which fueled my alcoholism. A friend told me to stand in front of the mirror and give myself two thumbs up. In the movie Stuart saves his family my favorite line was I’m good enough I’m smart enough and doggone it people like me. I tell myself that from time to time. When I start writing a thread I have a panic attack sometimes that I’m going to type something stupid or send the thread before I get it done. I’ve got to learn how to chill more. Dear sweet Deb I apologize for not sending you a big hug earlier for enduring your migraines. I Hope you’re feeling better. We are such a dynamic group I am so grateful to be a part of you guys. I got to ask my uncle if his parents ever told their children that they loved them? His answer was a firm never. It explained why my dad could never say he loved us because he was never taught those skills. Again I really appreciate the wisdom kindness and support of my friends at GIC. I’m going to try to do some reading tonight. I will catch up with everyone tomorrow. Hugs. Gary

 

Lou,

Reading what led up to you living in your car..., that miserable Thanksgiving dinner of crackers and soda... I had to get a tissue. The love you and Linda had for each other, you still have for Linda, is way beyond strong... I don't think your downward spiral was your fault or Linda's either. You couldn't help your reaction to the disaster that unfolded on the TV, in your room at that New Hampshire Inn, anymore then Linda could help being diagnosed with endometrial cancer. I'm so glad you now realize that it wasn't all your fault, total understatement!!!

Backing up a bit, hearing you "talk" about walking home in your scary Unibomber hoodie again, made me LMSO. Thank you, I really needed to laugh!!! Although I HATE!!! this seemingly never ending roller coaster ride of emotions, it helps so much to be able to laugh. It gives me so much hope for the future.

Thank you so much for telling me that you're proud of me for being honest on that voicemail. I was totally shocked when the clerk called me back and said I was dismissed. I had to be honest, if for no other reason, people need to understand that there is no time limit on grief, no way for any one of us to know when we'll be glued together enough to make the best possible decisions concerning our own lives, let alone someone else's life. I hope the clerk will think about what I said the next time someone needs to be excused from jury duty for this reason.

It still makes me cry when I think how that yellow butterfly appeared as soon as I hung up after answering the clerk's call. We might not be married to our spouses in a legal sense, but, and this is one of those really BIG BUTS, the bond we have for them is so unbelievably strong, it can never be broken. The relationship you have with Linda, I have with Bob, and all of our other GIC friends, have with the one true love of their lives, is eternal. It is so bittersweet... Moving forward, I think all of life will be bittersweet...

Ending this on a much happier note, just seeing the word "thongs" again, is causing me to LMSO for the second time while I'm "talking" to you tonight. Only you and everyone here, can possibly understand how I can go from crying to laughing in a matter of minutes. I'm so grateful for you and all of our GIC friends, total understatement!!! Backing up just a bit, Lou this is either time number three or four (?...). I hope you find a really special woman soon... Another TBC with (hopefully!!!) a wonderful ending.

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of you peace. DEB

 

Lou,

When I read your response to Karen, I have to tell you how much I love the way you describe your special relationship with your "furry" friend. " He is medicine for my wounded soul," is such a beautiful way of expressing the bond between dogs and people, TU!!!

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB