Spouse. Caregiver. Widow. What now?

Discussion in 'Life After Caregiving' started by Penster, Nov 7, 2019.

  1. Penster

    Penster New Member

    I lost my first husband to cancer in 2009. I met someone special in 2010 but lost him to cancer in 2017.

    I’ve been a partner, wife, caregiver & a widow. I know I’ll never be the same again and some of that is sad but some of that is also good.

    My concern is who I will be when I decide it’s ok to go back out into the world...if I ever do.
    It’s a struggle between acceptance that I’ve already had the best & there’s nothing out there for me ... and trying to go on & maybe have one more “best friend” before I depart this life.

    How do you know which way to go?
    Heshi8064 likes this.
  2. Sheila512

    Sheila512 Well-Known Member

    I have always been a believer of making plans and guiding your own destiny. Since my loss I am allowing some of life to happen. I am just too worn out to make it happen my way. You need to listen to your body and soul. You will guide yourself into being who you are. You are defined by your life experiences, and yours have been mostly loving, so continue that path. You will not be able to live without caring...about something or someone. You will make all the right choices. Don't over think it.
    Heshi8064 and Penster like this.
  3. linda weiner

    linda weiner New Member

    i lost my husband in april after 25 years of marriage. it was a second marriage for both of us and a true love affair. he had multiple sclerosis but was doing very well for quite awhile. the disease began to progress and for the last 8 years he was bedridden. his mind was clear and i was his total caregiver...it was a labor of love. in the end he contracted pnemonia and his body was too weak to fight it off. he passed away at home in my arms. i am 75 years old and totally along without him. the days and nights are long and lonely and the passage of time does not seem to make it more palatable. i miss him terribly and don't know what to do to get through each day. what will become of me?