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Sisters

Discussion in 'Loss of Sibling' started by Snookie000, Nov 30, 2020.

  1. Snookie000

    Snookie000 New Member

    I lost both my sister's within 11 months of one another. We had spent the last 16 year's together the 3 of us. One was divorced one her husband was killed me I never married. We have always been super close we never argued had such good times. It's been 5 years I feel like it was yesterday my heart broke then I lost my spirit when the other sister died. We had such a soulful bond. I try but each day is a faked struggle of trying to get thru the day. My mind never shuts down I can't sleep well. I don't know how to get better. I miss them beyond words. We lived together did everything together . I'm 68 got my first tat that says sister to sister heart to heart bonded together right from the start. They were 10 and 12 years old when I was born they ALWAYS had my back from the time I was a baby to the days they died. I'm lost I just go thru daily motions. I'm on depression meds and anxiety meds. Our Mom died then my one sister's husband was killed by a semi driver who ran a total red light we 3 were together the day he died. Then one sister died from neglect from a nursing home where she was only there for rehab. Then my other sister who was my best friend our families rock died under suspicious circumstances. Then 8 months later her 23 year old daughter died of cardiac arrest. All this in past 5 years and sucked the life and soul from me I do not know what to do.......
     
  2. cg123

    cg123 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for all the losses you have experienced in just 5 years. I understand how difficult this is and how it can "suck the life and soul" from you. My sister, whom I lived with and was my best friend, passed away 1.5 years ago. We, too, did everything together. When my mother and then later my father passed away we stood strong together and we wouldn't have gotten through it without each other. We moved two times to different states and it was always fun doing it together. I am alone now....and do not have any close friends where I currently live. I intend to move back to where I have friends but because of the pandemic it is not safe to do so now. But even close friends cannot replace the love of a sister and other family members. I do feel that I am stronger now but have many times when the grief is overbearing and I just need to cry and let it out. I try to keep myself as busy as I can and remember the great times we shared. It is not easy but, unfortunately, we do not have a choice. You will always carry them in your heart. The grief doesn't ever go away but you just learn to deal with it the best you can. Wishing you strength and healing and a big hug to know that you are not alone.
     
  3. CrackofDawn

    CrackofDawn Member

    I just lost my sister to alchohol and covid on the 5th of this month. My mind still can't believe I will never see her again on this earth. I am listening to you all and thinking the grief does never go away. I am sorry for all of our losses.
     
  4. Snookie000

    Snookie000 New Member

    No the pain doesn't go away. Me and my sister's were older but one was divorced the others husband was killed. So we did everything together lived together at times or within blocks of one another. They were my hearts I lost both of them in 1 year . Unusual circumstances . I miss them so much daily. My prayers are with you know you are not alone at times we feel totally alone. Your sister is watching down on you❤. I get signs of my sisters which brighten my day.... Hang in there our sisters would want us to. I'm 68 never had a tat got one that says Sister to sister Heart to heart bonded together right from the start. And bonded we certainly were...... Hugs
     
  5. cg123

    cg123 Well-Known Member

    No the pain never goes away but time makes it a bit easier to deal with such grief. She will forever be in your heart.
     
  6. CrackofDawn

    CrackofDawn Member

    Thank you for your words Snookie. I love that we both have 2 sisters. I was the middle one. When we were younger we were always together. As my little sister got older she got into drugs and alcohol. In the end we as a family tried and tried to get her clean and sober. She just couldn't forgive herself for the things she has done in life. She couldn't do it for herself. We tried tough love and it made it worse. Maybe she just felt alienated. I don't know. My brother and older sister got tats. I got a Alex and Ani sister bracelet just like the one I gave her a few years ago. She passed not having any belongings at all and on the streets. She did know we loved her at the end and wanted us to move her to a nursing home where we had her before so I could be close to her. :( Yes bonded together right from the start.
     
  7. CrackofDawn

    CrackofDawn Member

    Thank you CG123, I hope time does help. In the middle of winter I am out digging up a place in my yard for a memorial garden when the spring comes. Something I can see every day.
     
  8. cg123

    cg123 Well-Known Member

    What a nice idea to have a memorial garden. I live in a condo so, of course, do not have a garden but I had a tree planted in my sister's name.