She was fine...until she wasn't

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Rosie_Josie_06, Aug 7, 2019.

  1. Rosie_Josie_06

    Rosie_Josie_06 New Member

    I am new here. It's so hard to reach out for some reason. Even online.

    Just lost my mom to a battle with Cancer. Although they are afflicted by this disease, it's not always apparent on the outside. You "know" the inevitable is coming, but when it happens it's still surprising. Especially when they go in the hospital on a Monday night and they're gone by Wednesday.

    I miss her so much. I miss her for the big things to come, but especially for all the small things that we did on a daily basis. I miss our telephone conversation every day when I left work all the way home. I miss our dinners together and also having her there for so many big and little things.

    I feel so sad. My fiancé did not react the same way when his parents passed. So he isn't talking to me about it. He seems to expect me to be the "strong silent type". Which I can be at times, but what about when I'm not? Now that I've lost both parents within 4 years of each other, being an only child, I feel completely alone. I realized after she passed that I no longer had unconditional love in my life.

    People are there for you when it first happens, but once the funeral happens, they all go about their lives (which they should), however, all the people that wanted to help are nowhere to be found once the feelings start to fade away. It's ok and normal for everyone to move on, but for the person that's going through it, it's just the beginning of a long hard road. Again, knowing and living it are two different feelings.

    I swear I just went through this with Dad. It was only 4 years ago. How do I do this again? How do I start sleeping, eating, breathing, laughing, or live again?
    Juanarosa likes this.
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Hi Rosie_Josie - I'm so sorry for your losses. I know how hard it can be to get support, even online like you said, so I'm glad you're here. It's strange how little people seem to understand, and how quickly they want us to return to our old selves. But that's so very hard to do after a significant loss, and when you've lost 2 very important people in a short period of time, it can be hard to trust what we thought we knew about life.
    Our parents are the foundation on which our lives are built, and especially if we remained close with them into adulthood, their loss is going to leave a very big void.
    Sometimes the only thing that can help is connecting with people who understand. I'm glad you've found us. As you continue to look to connect, be sure to read and comment in the existing forums - that helps alert those who have already written and people tend to get a greater response that way.
    I hope it can be a help and I wish you all the best in the days ahead. Please let me know if we can be of further help~
    Juanarosa likes this.
  3. Juanarosa

    Juanarosa New Member

    Just lost my mom on 8/11. Inside I’m devastated
    But have to keep on going. I cry everyday to work and coming home. I’m so lost. She was sick towards her older years but always pulled thur. But suddenly after the greatest day at my niece party when leaving had problems breathing and after 2 hours that the doc work in her. She went home to god. But what about me? I’m so used to having her there
    I’m so lost inside but I keep moving forward
    No other choice
    I pray for my mom and I’ll pray for yours