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recently divorced parents passed....5 days from each other...

Discussion in 'Loss of Both Parents' started by CTINE, Dec 18, 2020.

  1. CTINE

    CTINE New Member

    Newbie here....was praying to Jesus to please take dad. He suffered from having ALS. Like having ur total body paralyzed, but the mind is good. And his actually was good.What a nightmare to be locked into ur body. I was there when he passed. I wanted & always knew I'd be there at that time. I need to be more thankful bc he was 80 yrs old when diag.He lived a full life..compared to others that get diagnosed between 20's - 60's. Five days later..On my way to dad's funeral,I then got a call that mom was passing. After dad's funeral I drove to mom's and got to be with her while she passed. She suffered from Alzheimer's. She was my best friend . We were kindred spirits. She was never even to final stage where eating was a problem.My intuition is telling me she passed bc of what I call a result of "covid social distancing lonesome effect"..no visits,no touch,no talk. I'm actually believing this may be a worse way to die...pure loneliness! Been finding/reading as much as I can about grief. I literally feel like I've been punched in stomach since this all happened.
     
  2. CTINE

    CTINE New Member

    ..me again...I just re read what I posted ..the heading I wrote sounds like my parents ..just divorced.They been divorced for decades,but just recently they both passed.
     
  3. Carzymac

    Carzymac New Member

    Hi CTINE,
    Firstly I am so so sorry for the loss of both your parents, I too understand the devastation, gut wrenching pain and heartache you are feeling.

    My mam passed suddenly in February 2020, my family live in Ireland, I live in Australia. I will never forget the phone call with the devastating dreaded news. World turned upside down in the blink of an eye. Like you, she was my best friend. My husband and I were on the next available flight back to Ireland where my brother and I organised our Mam's funeral while trying to hold eachother up from the sheer devastation.
    We were all shocked at the timing big Mam's passing as weeks later the world went into lockdown with Covid. We had only got back to Australia a couple weeks prior.
    Trying to work through my grief, work through the pain of doing it all so far away from my family, feeling so far away, my only support here in Australia that knew mam was my husband . It was tough, he's a great support and has helped me keep my head above water.
    My birthday and Christmas were tough - first one without mam, she always rang to sing happy birthday and took great pride in sending cards with the most beautiful verses. I was really missing her so much.
    We were brushing ourselves off ready to take on the NY and brace myself for Mam's 1yr anniversary next month when I got another call that took me to my knees all over again - the nightmare relived - this time it was my Dad. Suddenly passed away on 3rd Jan 2021. Over the other side of the world with a lockdown and Australian borders closed - I haven't been able to travel to attend my Dad's funeral. The heartbreak, the devastation of the loss is huge but not being able to be there is horrific! Facing the reality both my parents are gone brings so much sickness and anxiety to my stomach. Fearing what's next. It's horrible.
    My parents were separated 35 years yet they passed away 11months apart.
    Mam had a heart attack, we think Dad the same - awaiting a post mortem result but I feel covid lockdowns had a big effect on him, both mentally and physically.
    I feel your pain, it totally sucks!
    Reach out if you want to - I'm trying to navigate my way and keep my head above water and sometimes having the support of someone that is going through the same helps.
    Take care
    Carol
     
  4. Carzymac

    Carzymac New Member

    Sorry should read the timing of Mam's passing not big