Parent and sibling of murdered child syndrome

My sibling was murdered. I was pretty young. I’ve worked through it most of my life.

I recognize now that my mother was suffering from a syndrome characteristic of mothers who can’t accept that their child was murdered. She carried a list of unspoken self blame inside that she could not separate. It definitely was not her fault.

The murderer of course used “projection” techniques to blame her. He knew it wasn’t her fault.

Today is Thanksgiving, and I wish I could hold my mother and tell her again that it wasn’t through any personality fault that he daughter was violently killed.