Orphan after car accident

Discussion in 'Dealing With Multiple Losses' started by Rose2004, Feb 3, 2020.

  1. Rose2004

    Rose2004 New Member

    I lost my parents and little sister on a car accident, I almost lost my ability to walk.
    I was left with my brother with my aunts, it doesn’t matter how hard they try to make it okay, my heart is still crying, I feel empty.
    I keep dreaming about my sister, how it felt to hug her, to hold her hand..
    I miss my family every single day
     
  2. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    Rose2004,

    My god, your suffering must be unbearable. I wish I could take your pain away.

    Life has so many events that happen to each of us, some bearable some not, but the one thing I hope you will realize, there is still life, to go on, to never give up. I realize you are deeply hurting inside. The pain must unbearable to endure some days. I truly wish the best for you.

    Hold onto your brother and aunts. Share in that sorrow together, and try to give each other comfort the best you can. Grief will be strong, but just know that to heal inside it is better to open up and express your feelings. Remember as you were growing up, how when something might happen and you so wanted to talk about it, yell about it, or speak out against it, well that is what you need to do.

    Keeping that hurt deep inside you will only prolong your immense suffering. Please never be afraid to speak out, share you feelings with others. In our world there are many-many people who will listen and feel your pain with you. Here at this site, there are others who are as deeply sorrowful as you as well. They will listen, they will understand. Just remember, there are no wrong words, as your speaking out is coming straight from your heart and mind.

    Take each day slowly, and reach out for help. Please never be afraid to talk, to cry, to shed tears, as those are a necessary part for you to heal inside. Your journey will not be an easy one, but take those first baby steps. I know it is an unknown, it is scary, and if only you could wish it away. I foolishly tried that and realized that those memories will always be with us.

    If you don't mind me asking, can you share some of your favorite memories with us. When I was growing up my parents let me join the cub scouts, the boy scouts, the YMCA, the HI-Y, I played baseball as a pitcher growing up and so it went on and on till I joined the Army straight out of high school after graduation. Sure I have many memories, good and bad, but I push the bad aside and prefer to have a more wholesome outlook on life.

    One day, after you grow some more, if you allow yourself to live life, I am sure you will grow into a beautiful person. Just give yourself a chance to heal inside, open up with whoever, whenever and however you can. Your words are not as important, as your releasing those pent up emotions to help yourself forward in life.

    Please take care of yourself, and please never give up.

    david

    I hope you like this song:

     
  3. Dave B.

    Dave B. Member

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Rose. Nobody should have to go through that. It’s unfair, and it must feel overwhelming at times. I hope you know that you aren’t alone. You can get through this and heal, even if it might not feel like it sometimes. Or, if you’re like me, even if you don’t want to sometimes.

    When I lost my brother, I didn’t even like the idea that I could heal. It felt like I was dishonoring his memory to not feel that deep, aching hurt all the time. But eventually I was able to realize that he wouldn’t want that for me. He’d want me to live a full life in his honor.

    That’s still hard, especially after losing my dad recently, too. But I’m digging back one inch at a time. Some days I lose a couple inches. But, eventually, light creeps into our lives again, we find things to love again, and we’re able to remember our loved ones with a smile instead of a tear (or, if you’re like me again, many many tears).

    Also, not for nothing, I highly recommend seeing a therapist. I’ve been doing that for years, and the guidance and support has been invaluable.

    Best wishes,
    Dave