Like you, I am 61, and I lost the love of my life after 41+ years of marriage the day after your first post. I have been a physician for the past 35 years, but nothing has prepared me for the depth of sorrow I have felt since Lisa died. I had over 2 years to "get ready" since her cancer was diagnosed January 17, 2019. She was in hospice at home since January 6th this year, and I was able to be with her just about 24/7 since then. I have two wonderful kids who have been there to support me, and I have found a lot of support on this site, and recognize a lot of spouses who deeply loved and are now feeling the loss. But as I spent last Saturday reading over several threads including Homesick, and responding to several posts, I spent most of that day sobbing. I still have not gotten to the point of being able to talk or think about my wife without breaking down, unless I have on my "doctor face" as my wife used to say. But i have found several posts to be especially helpful, and hopefully I am inching forward. I know my wife would want me to find a new purpose and to find some sense of happiness. One of the threads I read last week had the following prayer posted, and I thought it was especially appropriate for all of us. "Lord, I did not want a new life. I liked my old one just fine, but I understand that going back is not an option. Therefore, Lord, I will move forward. Teach me to seek You and embrace You and grow in this new life. Amen." I hope that you will feel supported my members on this site as I have, and feel free to post to my profile if you need a sounding board. I pray for peace in your heart and perhaps memories of your wife' will soon bring a smile instead of a sob.