Nobody wants to hear this but...

OMG......you are NOT complaining. You are voicing pain that is deep inside. You have no answers - only questions. I cannot imagine your pain. I thought my 1 year anniversary (TODAY) of P's death was horrible but not to know why, what, or how - must be overwhelming. My grandkids annoy me like you are saying but TRY (no judgment) to see his pain too. Some days if I didn't have my dog - I wouldn't get out of bed. I don't believe in prayer but will try to send positive thoughts your way.

 

It's 14 months since Peter died & I feel worse than ever. It REAL.......he's dead & he's not coming back. I'm alone & that's that. I've actually stopped posting on Facebook b/c people respond to my grieving out loud with a "like, sad face or thinking of you"....otherwise I don't hear from them. It's as if they've forgotten the hideous pain/grief. Yes, they miss him but after 35 years of his face, his voice, his hands, his love, his laughter........I'm wandering in the desert of grief. I see very little relief from it.

 

I understand how you are feeling. As time goes by the reality of it does "sink in" and you realize that you are alone. I wish there was an easy answer on how to deal with such grief but there isn't. It is so hard to stay strong and go on but somehow we do. Wishing you well.