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Discussion in 'Life After Caregiving' started by Pammy, Feb 15, 2021.

  1. Pammy

    Pammy New Member

    Hi this is my first post my partner died 7 months ago. We were together 24yrs I was his full time carer for 6 yrs. I'm feeling a bit lost and covid not helping. Hope to hear from anybody who understands how lonely life is at the moment. Thanks.
  2. MyBoo

    MyBoo New Member

    Hi Pammv. I hear you. My partner died Sept 3 -- 5 and a half months ago from cancer. We were together 9 years (friends for 4 years before that) and he was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer 10 years ago. I was his caregiver for all of those years, made and attended every Doctor appointment, scheduled CT scans every three months, researched all new treatments, clinical trials, side effects of drugs etc... I walked into every doctor appt armed with stacks of print outs to ask the Dr about, what's the next drug when the current chemo he was on stops working etc.... I ordered all his meds and made sure he never ran out. He was my ENTIRE LIFE. I don't know how to function without him. I understand the loneliness you speak of. There was all this for 9 years, now....nothing. We had breakfast together every morning, now I wake up and don't know what to do, what to eat. I visit his grave every single day, have never missed a day and I just am so lost. I don't know what to do. Literally.... I don't know what to do. I don't even want to take a lunch break at work because he would pick me up at work for lunch every day and now, just nothing. I have a few close friends, but I don't even want to be near them, or talk to anyone. I don't want anyone except HIM.
    I am sure my spilling my guts didn't help you, I'm sorry, but I want you to know I'm there with you. I get you.
  3. Pammy

    Pammy New Member

    Hi My Boo
    Thankyou for replying to my post. It's strange I've spent so many years looking after my husband I seem to have lost myself. My husband had a inoperable brain tumour which caused many strokes. The last few years he was completely dependent in a hospital bed. Carers 5 times a day nurses ,drs etc. He was only in his 50s and I was 8yrs younger. I dont know where you are from but I am from the UK. Healthcare service is amazing if I lived anywhere else I would not have afforded his high care needs. I have good family but most friends just got on with their lives. I've gone from feeling needed to not having a place in life. I am so sorry you are struggling it's a lonely place isn't it. Nobody can understand until they have been there. I've lost a parent but this pain wow. Your not alone and now I do not feel alone. X