Hi everyone....my mother passed away on March 2, 2020 and then the world went crazy. My mother had been sick for awhile and up to recently was doing quite well. Her illness is a long story.... Her passing wasn't a huge shock but was still a shock none the less. I had just turned 40 in February and she wasn't able to attend the surprise party she helped plan because she was in a rehab facility after being discharged from the hospital. She was on the mend.....doing well....until she developed a blood clot and everything went downhill. It went from speaking to my mother on the phone one day to her being admitted to the hospital the next day delusional with pain. She wasn't my mother the next time I saw her and.....I knew. She only kept getting worse, they couldn't do much for her except keep her comfortable. Her body was deteriorating, she was bleeding internally and there was nothing that could be done. As I said before her illness is a long story.... My father had to make to decision to withdraw care and we watched her die for a day....it was heartbreaking. Of course we were surrounded by family and friends during this time and they were wonderful. What bothers me is what happened after she died.......they all seemed to leave. Everyone in my family has experienced death and has grieved but my mother was a force, she was the glue and she was my mother. No one can every fully understand the loss of a mother unless it has happened to them. And I know I get it, no one knows what to say but even if you just come over to sit with me, just show up, you don't have to say anything. But then this whole social distancing happened and that's not even a possibility. I feel like I have had to put my grief on hold. I can't see my father or my brother and I'm stuck in my house with a husband who doesn't get it and is so emotionally distant I want to scream. My mother is the one person that I want to talk to and I can't. She was my best friend....the one person in my life that I knew I could count on. I don't have many friends and I just lost my best friend.