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My world is gone

Discussion in 'LGBT Loss' started by seanners, Mar 22, 2021.

  1. seanners

    seanners New Member

    My partner of 15 years died suddenly on Friday. We said goodnight,then inthe am I discovered him dead on the bathroom floor. I'm still in complete shock. There was no warning he was 48 years old. Now starting to manage time away from work, his family, having to explain our rather complicated relationship to others along with my soul crushing grief is quickly becoming more than I can deal with. Im spinning out
     
    Putt likes this.
  2. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry for your loss. Praying for your strength so you can become stronger with each passing day
     
    pghpenscarguy likes this.
  3. pghpenscarguy

    pghpenscarguy New Member

    Hi Seanners. I feel your pain. My partner died in November 2019. We were together for ten years. Most of the ten years, my partner was sick. My guy was a nurse, so if he had a problem, he would let me know and we would get the doctor right away. About a week before he died, he told me that he thought he had a blood clot in his leg. At the time we thought we were lucky to already have an appointment with the doctor that handled his blood thinner medication. We went to the doctor and the doctor told us to schedule the test. We went to get his hair cut on the way home, stopped for dinner. He scheduled the appointment, but never made it. Thursday was Halloween. It was the first Halloween EVER that he came to pass out candy with me. We went to bed that night. I found him the next morning unresponsive. I thought he may have overdosed on pain medication. I tried the Narcan, but it didn't work. I had call 911 and they had me administer CPR. The medics came, shocked him, did CPR, but he was gone. He was only 50. His Mom did not want an autopsy done, so we will never know what really happened. They think it was a heart attack, but I think it was a blood clot. It has been over a year now and I miss him terribly. The family (and most friends) that does know that I was in a relationship does not care that my partner died. I have no one to talk too about my grief. I miss him everyday. I am not out at work, so explaining the situation to people here at work has been difficult. I know exactly what you are going through. I am here if you need someone to talk too. I am lucky to have our dog Zeus. He probably thinks I am crazy because I talk to him all of the time. Write back and let me know how you are holding up.
     
  4. Putt

    Putt New Member

     
  5. Putt

    Putt New Member

    I lost my partner of 34 years on 11/20/20 much the same way you did. I found him the next morning and the coroner said he passed without knowing it ,, without pain. That gives me comfort but the loss is still so overwhelming. I cry sometime every day, I talk to him, I've never known a loss like this. Where is my purpose in life? My direction? With time, I'm told, acceptance will come though it seems impossible now. Hang in there, I understand your pain and know we will make it through this.

    Putt