my wonderful husband died july 21st i am so lost

hi i dont really know how to start this but here it is. i am 66 years old and kenny was 67. i have known him since 1973. we got married feb. 3 1989. he stood by me through kidney failure and transplant. we were saved together and shared everything. he took care of my every need he was my whole world. on july 18 he was installing a hot water heater. he came inside to turn the well pump back on. let out a big blow and fell to the floor. i can still hear my screams as i said please dont leave me. i called 911 as i was talking to the 911 op. i knew he was not going to make it.

the doctor told me he only had 10% of his heart working, he never came to. i knew he didnt want to be kept alive but i just couldnt let him go. but on the 21 i did say goodbye to the only man i ever truly loved and loved me.

i dont know what to do now i have very little family and they dont live near. i feel like life just stopped. i cry every day,i hold his pillow i am so sad. i pray this pain will ease at some point.

 

Hi There.. I'm sorry for your loss.. wanted to let you know that you are not alone … I chanced upon your post as the dates that our husband got into accident and passed on is the same...

on 18th midnight , my house caught fire.. he asked me to stay in the room and he promised me that he will come back after getting our dogs back in room.. he didn't make it back.. he was in icu .. and on the 20th.. we made a painful decision to take off his life support as his organs are failing.. he must have been great pain.. till now I still cant forget.. I feel I could have done more.. this feelings has turn into guilt.. which I'm practically living with it.. I missed him so much..

 

Brenda,

Life has such a cruel way of talking to us at times. I am so sorry for Kenny’s loss.

When we share a life with another, we do so many things together. Being with someone for so long only makes that bond grow much stronger. When one of us get sick, our love for one another helps us through most of those terrible times.

To have survived a transplant is amazing, it must have been a beautiful time upon your recovery. I know my wife had been on the liver transplant list three times, and each time cancer returned and eventually spoiled it for her. We were crestfallen.

At least you were with him during his most difficult times. I know as I lost my wife I knew an era in my life was ending. I know as I let out my last yell for Nadine as she took her last breath, her sister grabbed me and we both cried together.

Brenda, sharing love with another, there is nothing more special in life. I hope you have friends to talk with, I know at this site you can always post when you wish to talk, no matter what. We all are great listeners. We all walk this road of grief in life now. We however do have our wonderful memories forever.

The sorrow that keeps holding onto you is hard to overcome. Though it may be inanimate, it is real, it makes us feel so melancholy, and hard to get beyond. Please just never give in to despair, and keep talking. May you night give you some comfort, and healing come to you.

-david

This song is for the one you miss so much in life