Before Trevor died I had a fun active life. I played in a rock band every week and wrote many songs with great friends. We all frequented a bar where everyone knew us and our band played there once a month. I had a great job in custom woodworking and built different things in my shop at home. After Trevor died I became very lonely. I slowly backed away from the band and started going to the bar sitting there drinking more and more. Eventually all i did was go to work then come home and get on my Harley and go drink at the bar. I drank so much that each night I blacked out and woke up the next day with no recollection of what happened the night before. In late 2017 an old dear friend contacted me and we began an intimate relationship and within 4 months I quit the best job I ever had and moved 320 miles away to be with this woman. I didn't know anyone there and took a job I didnt like. Within 3 weeks I was in a domestic violent incident with this woman and ended up in jail. I got out of jail and she took me back, but now I'm on probation and have lost almost all contact with family and friends back home. I dont know what I'm doin here. I love this woman, but my life isn't what I thought it would be and I feel stuck here with no options. All I have is my son's facebook to look at and reflect. Im so sad and have nobody to talk to.