I’m having a big sad day today with my grief. My older brother was murdered 1-1/2 years ago walking through a city park at 6:30 in the evening. He was headed out to get some dinner after work. He was brutally attacked & didn’t survive. The case is still unsolved, and the detectives have said that nothing about it makes any sense. Last year I was truly shattered by his death—there were times I thought I would not make it through the despair, Depression, grief and sadness. now it’s the second year and the second year is just like the first for me, only this time I’m awake. Today is a hot summer day and all I can think of is how my brother would have been here at my house, visiting with me and my husband (they were best friends). They’d go for a motorcycle ride together, and come back here to catch whatever sporting event was on, and I’d have cooked Sunday dinner for us all. I hate whoever did this to him. Whoever it was robbed my brother of his life and me of a future with him. And they just left him there on that path in the park to die. What kind of a person does that? I’ve never met true evil but my brother did on that path that night. And I don’t care what their story is. I don’t care whether they were mentally ill; whether they were abused as a child; whether they were a low life junkie or a gang banger. I hate them because they were a coward and a killer and didn’t give a damn about another human life. my goal in therapy is to to be able to forgive them. I pray all the time that God sends me the mercy and grace to reach this goal. I first have to heal, though, and that takes time. It seems like it will take forever. I can’t believe that I’m never going to see him again. That I’m never going to hear his voice or hug him. That his murder in all likelihood will go unsolved (statistic is that if an arrest hadn’t been made in a homicide within a year after the event the likelihood that one will be made is less than 5 percent). and that his killer is most likely still walking around free, with zero remorse for what he did. Thank you for listening.