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My soulmate is gone!

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Patrick61790, Nov 29, 2020.

  1. Patrick61790

    Patrick61790 New Member

    Hello my name is Patrick and I am new to this site. I am in so much pain it’s unbearable and the emptiness I feel is overwhelming. Being in this house alone is almost to much to bare! My pain is fresh my wife just passed away on November the 16th from brain cancer. She was just diagnosed on October the 15th and was gone in a month. I am in so much pain and I don’t know how to move on. I am stuck and I feel like I am dying inside. She was only 55 years old and we were supposed to grow old together. I am so lost and can’t function right now and am afraid of everything falling apart. God help me please!
  2. Oh Patrick, I’m so sorry for your loss. She was incredibly young! How devastating that she passed within a month of being diagnosed, so unfair! I’m new here too. Please if you need someone to listen, we are here. Praying you find peace and comfort.
  3. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

    Hi Patrick. The unbearable pain you're feeling is understandable and the loneliness/emptiness horrible. I know. I've been where you are. My sweet wife died suddenly from a brain aneurysm on Nov. 2, 2019. We were together 25 Years. You're In shock. Thank God for shock! It's too much to take all at once. It's not really possible to function in your state right now so just try to concentrate on your health. Eat right, drink water, and try to sleep and rest. Grieving is so hard on you and it's not going to get easier for a while but I promise you it will get easier. You need to let the time pass and just take things one day at a time. Get out of the house as much as possible. Your home is not going to be a happy place for a while. Try not to come home to an empty house in the dark tho. Leave some lights on. Trust me, it's hard to walk into an empty house in the dark. As for moving on, don't worry about it. We don't "move on" we just learn how to live with this. I was planning on retirement when she died but now I'm so glad I have my job. It got me out of the house and kept my mind occupied. I have no plans to retire now. When the time comes, I'll know it. You'll have a lot more bad days then good for a while but after about 3 months I started to have a good day once in a while and also cried less. I won't sugar coat it, this is the absolute worst thing I've ever been through.13 months out now and I can see my life being happy again one day. We can't live sad forever. It's hard but you have to do this for yourself. You will live on. Not the same as you were. We can never be that guy again. We must make a new life and identity. It sucks! Do the best you can and don't pressure yourself. In your early stage it's hard enough to just function. Sorry. Peace.
  4. Cyanotype

    Cyanotype Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your writing
  5. OnlyOneCared

    OnlyOneCared Member

    I am so sorry for your loss. My soulmate passed away December 1st. We never lived together. We were friends. We talked almost every day, though. I am grieving so hard. I am angry, feel rejected because I have no one to grieve with, and I keep going over and over in my head all of the ways that I let him down. I am supposed to go to my job every day and pretend like I can cope with things. I can't. My soulmate was the person who helped me through any difficult times. He was supposed to always be there for me. I took him for granted and now he's gone. Maybe my loss is not the same as yours, but if you ever need someone to talk with, I will try to listen. Never believe there is just one soulmate out there. I think we all have many, if we don't shut ourselves off from finding them.
    Cyanotype likes this.
  6. Cyanotype

    Cyanotype Well-Known Member

    I understand. My friend was that to me. 32 years....... so many memories that do not comfort me yet. Its been 4 months and my heart is broken.....
  7. Hi Patrick,
    I can totally empathize. I lost my beloved husband a mere week ago and it's all I can do to get out of bed to feed my kitties. My life is over. My heart is shattered. My one true love is gone forever. How am I supposed to live on, and happily at that?

    If there is a way you can reach out to me I would be very happy to stay in contact. We have to be here for one another. My married friends just don't understand.

    Yours in friendship and love,

    Maggie (Magic is the cat)