My Son, My Life, Gone

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Kellie, Sep 26, 2016.

  1. Kellie

    Kellie New Member

    My 30 year old son, was in a terrible accident. I had to make the decision to take him off life support. It was horrific. He lived with me, and worked with me. It has been less than 2 months, but I feel each day is getting worse. The house is so empty now. He was all I had. Everywhere I go and everything I do reminds me of him. Everyone has gone back to their normal lives, but I am left all alone. No one else understands what u am going through. I go on with my daily life, because I have to, not because I want to. All I can to is cry, all the time when I am alone. I need some kind of help to get through this. But what?
  2. ccbythesea

    ccbythesea New Member

    Time is on your side. One of the reasons people seem not to be there for you is several fold: they have to go back to their own lives because they cannot feel this loss as deeply as you do; also (and no one likes to say this) you have become their worst nightmare, so they may be shying away from you because you represent the worst thing that could happen to them; in the best case, they don't know what to do for you because they can't change your reality.

    Time truly does help, but only 2 months out is a very short time. While you are waiting for the healing qualities of time passing, you should treat yourself with the kid gloves you wish other people were wearing. Allow yourself to cry without apology, take long walks, eat comforting foods and get massages from a sensitive professional. Above all don't isolate yourself and learn what are the things that hurt you the most (photos, momentoes, etc.) Only visit these things when you are stronger. It's still too early.

    It may take many months before the shock is over. You will begin to notice differing stages of your grief, but the loss of your son has changed you forever. Your challenge is to make peace with the changed woman you have become.

    I am so sorry for your loss. I had to take my husband off life-support. He was the love of my life for 30 years. The only comfort I can offer is that you have done the most difficult and loving thing someone can do for another. If you were brave enough to do that, you are brave enough to face the rest of your life. Be gentle and forgiving of yourself. You deserve it.
    griefic likes this.
  3. Kellie

    Kellie New Member

    Thank you so much for your words. At least here I can talk to others who have been through this, and understand what I am going through.I am so sorry for your loss also. You sound like a very wonderful and understanding person. I wish I could give others some comforting words that would help. Maybe as time goes on, I will be able to.
    griefic likes this.