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My partners gone.

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Pete/Shell, Jul 16, 2020.

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  1. Pete/Shell

    Pete/Shell New Member

    In April this year I rushed home from work,to find my partner collapsed on the floor. I tries CPR but failed. The ambulance came and took her away, I never saw or spoke to her again. 3 months on I get through life,just, I have no real family to support me. Will.I ever fill this great chasim that has appeared in my life.
     
  2. EadamK

    EadamK New Member

    My fiance died suddenly on a Sunday drive three weeks ago. I know what it is like to have you life ripped apart in an instant. now she sits in an urn on m dresser and I pray over her. all the dreams and plans are gone. if you want to reach out please do
     
    LouiseP57 likes this.
  3. darren1234

    darren1234 Member

    so sorry, i lost my wife 9 days ago. still in the middle of hell
     
  4. Pete/Shell

    Pete/Shell New Member

    Thank you for the reply,grateful for your interest. No words really console us,but we have to be as brave as we can
     
  5. Pete/Shell

    Pete/Shell New Member

    Hello, so sorry for your loss,and I can truly understand how you must be feeling. I can offer words of comfort, but they wont relplace what has been lost. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
     
  6. skies24

    skies24 Well-Known Member

    These are lonely, shitty times. Those first few months are torture. The replays of conversations. The hoping she knew how much I loved her. The wishing people would stop asking how we are cause they don’t want to know how you are. They want to hear you say you are okay which is furthest from the truth. I’m glad you found this site. It will help you thru. It will be 6 months for mine person on Wednesday. It’s a damn roller coaster. But I’m starting to laugh a little. You will find your path in this awful journey.
     
    a_denise_a likes this.
  7. Pete/Shell

    Pete/Shell New Member

    Thank you so much,I think people do just not understand, my life has kind of come to a stop,I know they have a lost a loved one. I have lost my reason to live, I need help ,I reach out but ,there is no one there . They now have their own lives to live.
     
  8. M-J

    M-J Member

    Im so sorry for your loss. I lost my partner suddenly about 2 weeks ago, I can definitely relate to feeling like your life has cone to a stsnd still. My thoughts are with you
     
  9. Mothernature

    Mothernature Member

    I lost my soulmate in April also. He called off work because he wasn't feeling well. Our oldest had been exposed to Covid at work prior to this, so we thought my husband might be getting sick also. 2 hours later he dies instantly from a massive heart attack on the couch in front of me and our kids. He was just sitting there drinking coffee and watching TV...I had just told him I loved him and checked his forehead and kissed him while hugging him 10 minutes before. I know the pain you're going through, the withdrawals from my love have been horrific. I am here to share if you want to talk.
     
  10. Mothernature

    Mothernature Member

    This is so true, the guilt over nothing. I knew he knew how much I loved him, I had 30 years to show him, and somehow I felt like it wasn't enough...
     
  11. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry for your loss. one of the hurtful things in a grief situation is that part of you is gone so things are at a stand still. Everybody around is busy cause their lives still going on. I pray for you to have strength to get through this. People say time heals you I think it just makes you stronger to deal with it. I lost my fiancee 4 months ago. I miss him everyday. Our small kids are my motivation to keep it together. You can reach out anytime.
     
  12. dareka

    dareka New Member

    I am also so sorry for your loss. I just registered after scrolling online feeling so lonely. This is my first post ever, not even being on Facebook or similar. My husband died last December. Heart attack out of the blue. We had just celebrated his 55th birthday a week before. I am „just“ 41, but I feel my life is over.
     
  13. M-J

    M-J Member

    Its a pain like no other. We have no answers as to why he died, nothing came up in the post mortem, its been impossible to get my head around. Its only been 5 weeks but it also feels like forever. Miss him ridiculously
     
    Mothernature likes this.
  14. Mothernature

    Mothernature Member

    It's such a bizarre new reality we find ourselves in, isn't it? Not knowing for sure why they were taken from us is torture, but we can't do anything about it and that makes us feel helpless. I have to remind myself to let that go whenever I start obsessing about it again.
     
  15. Mothernature

    Mothernature Member

    It feels like it's over but it's not! We are still alive and they aren't, and so we have to figure out what we are gonna do with that. How can we still actually Feel Alive again? I'm figuring this out one day at a time. I know that my love would always just wanted me to be happy and worked hard for a very long time to help make that happen. He would be very disappointed if all that love he invested in me was just lost. My zest for life was one of the things he loved about me and now I have to figure out how to reawaken that part of me...I feel like I am starting to, little by little....baby steps
     
    JMD likes this.
  16. Cyanotype

    Cyanotype Well-Known Member

    Thanks for posting this......its how I feel
     
    Mothernature and skies24 like this.
  17. Mothernature

    Mothernature Member

    I agree, it's just a big bag of crap! I will not allow myself to feel sorry for myself. I've had a lot of heartache in my life when I was just starting out as a human being. Eric was broken too, we bonded and healed together and created something so beautiful it's honestly mind blowing ! I have to remind myself that the relentless tenacity that is apart of who I am as a person and part of what he loved about me. That is what will pull me through this and help me thrive again, he wouldn't have it any other way! I hope that the love you shared with your person will do the same for you. We can do this!
     
    JMD likes this.
  18. Cyanotype

    Cyanotype Well-Known Member

    That is very positive..... I am no where near that now...... trying to swim with the waves of grief
     
  19. lashay5970

    lashay5970 New Member

    My ex died 3 days ago in a car wreck. We fought constantly but i know for a fact he loved me and i loved him. I just wanted him to have a chance to grow without me and our toxic relationship so i constantly pushed him away everytime he reached out. I feel like complete and utter shit now. If i had known he was in his last days I would’ve made him the happiest guy in the world.
     
  20. Mothernature

    Mothernature Member

    It's such a mixed up jumble of everything for me , all the time. Before this happened I was so leveled out and barely cried for like 2 years, I guess that was contentment, lack of high levels of stress , well at least not all the time. Then he died suddenly one morning right in front of me. After the initial shock and disbelief wore off I was mess. I haven't gone a day for almost 5 months now without weeping, sometimes for hours. I feel angry and like I'm gonna burst out of my skin some of the time. The withdrawls are so intense. That part people need to talk about more, it's raw and painful but a big part of all of this...