Hi, my name is Naomi and im 15 years old. My mom committed suicide on September 25, 2020. She struggled with depression in the past, but I never thought she would actually take her own life. I miss her so much, and I feel so guilty for being mean to her. She was not a good mother, she didn't take care of me and my sister that much. She was mean and she forced me to be her therapist since I was 9. I hated her for that. Now I feel so incredibly guilty for not apologizing to her. I can't imagine how much pain she was in. I feel so lost and lonely without her, I wish I had a mom to talk to about school, my friends, my struggles, just someone to listen. My dad is closed off but he's trying his best, it's just different talking to a man about girl stuff, you know? My dad has a girlfriend, (my parents have been divorced for 2 years) and I love her and think she's a great addition to the family. She's just not my mom, and I'm not close enough to her to really open up. Also, I have struggled with generalized anxiety disorder and adhd for years, and not a single person in my family or extended family has had any mental illnesses besides my mom and I. My psychologist just told me I've fallen into a depressive episode. I'm so scared. God I'm so scared. I feel like no one understands what I'm going through and I'm just suffering through each day. My grades are slipping and I can't focus on anything, It stresses me out to think that I'm only 15 and I might have just set myself up for failure for the rest of my life. Anyways, I would just really appreciate it if anyone, even just one person, would respond to this and tell me that I'm not going crazy and that it's ok to feel like this and that you're proud of me. I understand I'm demanding. I just feel really lost and I really, really need someone to tell me I'm not alone.