My mom passed away from cancer

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by Yroder2003, Mar 25, 2020 at 12:26 AM.

  1. Yroder2003

    Yroder2003 New Member

    My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in July of 2018 (She had just turned 70 June 22nd). She did 12 treatments of chemo the first go round. Their was shrinkage of the tumors, so she got a break for 3 months. But my mom had a very aggressive cancer, so her 3 month CT showed progression of the cancer again. From that point on, she never really got much of a break from chemo. The last 6 months of her life, she slowly withered away. It wasn't easy for me and my sister's to watch our once very independent mom, depend on us for everything. But that's what children are suppose to do, and my sister's and I gladly did it. But as the months went on, and we saw the changes, the weightloss, fatigue, lack of appetite, hemoglobin, potassium, protein, all being low, but my mom still kept going. But as the cancer progressed to her lungs, she had to deal with fluid buildup. She got it drained, and still hung tight. Well these last 3 weeks she really went downhill. Ended up in hospital, was put on oxygen 24/7. She seemed a little better, but was back in the hospital 2 weeks later. She had slight pneumonia, they treated it, but said she was at the point that she needed hospice care. I never visited my mom the couple times she was admitted to the hospital, because I just couldn't see her hooked up to stuff, my sister's always went. Well hospice was going to be set up at my mom's house, because she preferred that over a facility. My mom ended up passing away at the hospital on March 21st, and I never went and saw her, cause I thought she was coming home with hospice. It was never easy for me to see my mom go through that, but I covered it up, cause I never wanted her to see me break down. Had I gone to the hospital, I would of, and I didn't want the last images of my mom to be laying in a hospital bed, and then leaving, knowing that could of been the last time I saw her. My sister's were there when she passed, so she wasn't alone, and I'm grateful for that.
     
  2. Shawn1

    Shawn1 New Member

    Im sorry for your loss. I know how if feels to lose someone u love that loved u
     
    David Hughes and Yroder2003 like this.
  3. Yroder2003

    Yroder2003 New Member

    Thank you
     
    David Hughes likes this.
  4. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    Yroder2003,

    So sorry for your loss. Having the courage to deal with someone you love dying is enormously hard. We each have to find a way to cope not just with the one we love is experiencing, but how we ourselves react.

    Watching your parent(s) slowly decline is something none of us are built to deal with. It is unknown to us all. As we wake each day, time has a way of moving slowly for some and too fast for others who are witnessing the decline of someone. How we act is not something that is written in stone. We each are who we are, full of so many feelings of love for someone.

    The most recognizable thing is you were there for her times of her need. Just because you were not there for each unbearable day does not mean you did something wrong.

    Your mother saw and most likely appreciated all the love you and your sisters showered upon her as time slowly waned away. I know, those precious moments of time are hard to forget, and worst still to forget.

    Please don’t be too harsh with yourself. You were dealing with the reality of losing the one who raised you and you each loved one another strongly.

    Just take time to heal inside, your mind, soul, spirit and heart. When I state those I am talking about your emotions that control them all. Time is what you need. Talk with your sisters when you are able.

    I hope peace will come to you tonight.

    -david

    This song is for your troubled spirit