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My Mom Died

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by Aude, Mar 10, 2019.

  1. Aude

    Aude Member

    My Mom died 5 days ago. I was her primary caregiver for the last 14 months and her best friend for all my life. I’m packing up her house and talking to attorneys and accountants. But I am so broken. I go into robotic activity to make things happen but then I go back home and am utterly shattered. I feel isolated and vulnerable. I want to run away, or go into a coma, or just disappear. I hate evenings- it’s dark and lonely and so sad. Where did the light go?
     
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Aude, I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like your mother was a very special person, and when we lose someone who played many roles in our lives, it can suddenly feel like we've lost more than "just" one person. I think most grievers find the quiet of the evenings to be an especially difficult time - too much time to think is rarely a good thing, but that's especially true in loss.
    This is a very very new loss, and it will take time - more time than we could ever expect - to begin to adapt to this very significant change. I'm glad you're reaching out for support and hope we can be a help to you. Please take care~
     
  3. Senida Santoyo

    Senida Santoyo New Member

    I'm so sorry of your great loss. I loss my mother 1 month and nine days ago. I'm a mess. I'm an only child and had to do everything alone. Plan her funeral, deal with family members that were not interested in helping me at all. It was only good friends that helped me with resources to bury my mom. She died after a series of 2 major strokes, after pneumonia which was caused by a neglectful doctor releasing her to a nursing home while still very ill. I'm a mess.
     
  4. Senida Santoyo

    Senida Santoyo New Member

    Please hang in there. This is a very difficult time. I am so sorry that you have go thru this. I'm glad you are reaching out. Please keep reaching out.
     
  5. Aude

    Aude Member

    Hi Senida, I am very sorry for the loss of your dear mother. I understand that feeling of aloneness. I have it, too. The weird part is I sort of want to be alone much of the time- alone with my thoughts. I hope that someday we can get back into some kind of normality. Take care, Senida, and write back if you like.

     
  6. Anderson

    Anderson Member

    So sorry for your loss. I lost my wonderful Mom a little over three weeks ago. She was my best friend. We were always so close. The grief is overwhelming at times & I miss her so much,
     
  7. NicoleW

    NicoleW New Member

    Hi Aude, we have a couple things in common sadly. I lost my mom April 1st this year. So not long ago. I was her primary caregiver. The last month of her life I lived with her to take care of her. Thankfully my husband understood. She was my other half and we were very close. I feel so lost without her.
     
  8. Anderson

    Anderson Member

    Aude, hi, I am so sorry for your loss & what you are going through. It has been almost two months since I lost my Mom. I lived with her & took care of her. She was my best friend. I have a brother, there are just the two of us, but I was Mom's total caretaker. I am going through the attorney process & banks & it is so hard not to break down & start crying. I loved spending time with my Mom, especially the weekends. I am not married, no children, just my little dog that is grieving over the loss of Mom. My Mom loved her & she adored my Mom. I worry about her too. Friends have been great & the grief websites are wonderful. I have been reading books about grief & taken a couple of online courses that helped. I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers.
     
  9. Senida Santoyo

    Senida Santoyo New Member

    How are you doing today? Its been almost 3 months since my mom passed. I’ve been lucky finding a friend who has gone thru the same thing, losing her mom 5 yrs ago. No one reached out to me after my mom’s death. Nobody. I had to reach out to family on my own. But reaching out to someone who knew exactly how the process worked. The loss has been so hard, I’m still in deep grief, cloudy minded and cry at different times. I miss my mother so much I was almost inconsolable. Therapy, grief groups, grief chat rooms and writing ketters to my mom really helps. The key is feeling your feelings and letting your body process this huge loss. I go to church to pray and grieve. Going thru it is the only way out of it i find for myself. I miss my mother so much, we were best friends and very close. But I also found that love never dies, that fact gives me peace and hope. It will take a long time to get over this loss and the hole its left in my life. But I must go on. I still have trouble sleeping and have crying fits, and prefer to be alone now. Everything I’m going thru i’m told is all normal. The insanity feelings have passed, and holidays are hard but w support and go thru the process helps me live better. I’m here if you want to talk.
     
  10. Anderson

    Anderson Member

    Senida, hi, I lost my Mom two months ago tomorrow. I feel like I am in a fog & still numb, crying. Good Friday was rough & I dread Mother's Day. My Mom was wonderful, my best friend. I have wonderful memories. Will keep you in my thoughts & prayers. Take care,
     
  11. Cruze

    Cruze New Member

    I lost my mom 7/14/2017. I am still having an issue accepting it. I am still waiting for her to come. She wasn't supposed to leave me.
     
  12. Anderson

    Anderson Member

    Cruze, so sorry for your loss. Lost my Mom two months ago today & miss her so much. I feel numb a lot & just trying to take one day at a time. Crying daily & so many things trigger grief. I will think about something I want to share with my Mom & then the grief hits. I lived with her & took care of her. She was my best friend & someone I knew I could always trust.
     
  13. Cruze

    Cruze New Member

    I also lived with my mom, so I think we feel the void more then someone who doesn't live with their mom. I wasn't done needing my mom yet. I wasn't ready to loose her. Truth be told I would never be ready.
     
  14. Anderson

    Anderson Member

    I was Mom's total caretaker & thankful for the time I was with her, but I was not ready for her to pass. I know I would never be ready. It is so hard knowing she is gone. I can't talk to her & tell her how much I love her one more time. Living with her, we were so close & she was my best friend. She was one person I knew I could trust & that loved me. It has been two months today since she passed & I still feel numb.
     
  15. Cruze

    Cruze New Member

    I am very sorry for your loss. I never understood until I joined the dead mom's club. A club a wished no one ever had to join. Again, I am very sorry. I am here for you. I am a good listener.
     
  16. Anderson

    Anderson Member

    I never understood the loss of your Mom & what a empty place it leaves in your life until I lost Mom. It is a sad club & your don't have a choice, but it helps so much having others that understand & care. Someone that I thought was a good friend & that my Mom had been wonderful too said she didn't want bothered. She never even said she was sorry. She told another friend that didn't want to be bothered. I was there for her during the loss of family members. It is rough, but I know others feel the loss & pain. Thanks for your message. I really appreciate it. Yesterday was two months & it was a rough day.
     
  17. Cruze

    Cruze New Member

    I am always here to listen. I really do understand the magnitude of the loss and the friend issues too.