My husband shot himself in front of our daughter who is 34 and i was right outside the window. The first shot was aimed out the window to i beleive to distract me and the second went thru his head. He lived for about 6 hrs. And we had to decide to let him go. I was with him when he took his last breath. 25 yrs together i cant figure out where i went wrong not to see this, or why he didn't trust our love to fight this together. He told our daughter i would be better of without him. So not true. I have had him by mt side thru good and bad. First i blamed myself and then others. Now i am just confused. Gods takes away but gives better. I dont understand. This is the first x-mas, then comes new years, and then our anniversary, and then his birthday. How do i do this... I know that it wasn't him that left me, it was something else in his head. He was bi-polar. Two medications he was on cause suicidal thoughts. Why didnt the dr. Help him. Luv u always paul fenimore.