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My Fiance passed from Covid-19

Discussion in 'Loss to COVID-19' started by Jonathan57, Apr 20, 2020.

  1. Jonathan57

    Jonathan57 Guest

    IMG_4978.png Aimee R. Orme 1976-2020 20200331_045947.jpeg

    Had some good things going on in my life in the at this time. Got myself a girlfriend got things back on track and then shit hit the fan.
    Met a girl that live down the street from me about 7 minutes away, we have so much in common and we really found each other to be soulmates like we had known each other for years and years before we had even met. This girl really rub me the right way...
    I'm the kind of guy that doesn't just put his heart out on the line to get crushed by every girl. I am very picky and choosy about who I let into my heart and into my life.
    Me and this girl did everything together.We did not spend the last year and a half; apart more than a couple hours a day. This is how well me and this girl got along,we never got on each other's nerves or needed to spend time apart because we enjoy each other's company so much.
    When we were apart we text love texts back and forth to each other, saying,how much we missed each other and how we couldn't wait to see each other again.

    This girl had really taken my heart for a ride I really didn't expect it, as I found myself deeply in love with her. Also did I mention she had six children. So yes I was up to the challenge, dealing with all these kids ranging from ages 25 all the way down to 9. Love them all. Me and this girl we spend monuments of time together always telling each other how much we loved each other, having friends and other couples telling us how perfect we were. Her mother telling me how happy she was from meeting me and how beautiful our relationship is. We were always showing intimate signs towards each other,holding hands kissing, hugging,laying in bed together among other things...We really connected on higher level...never did we just have sex...no this was truly making love and it was so very special...

    We had spent so much quality time togther, most couples don't spend the amount of time we spent togther, but if someone does bother or make you want alone time, why you with this person.Well we truly enjoyed each other's company I mean a lot.Hey we loved each other and never met someone so special to me ever. New Year's-
    I had told this girl that I was going to marry her but I just needed to get some things straightened in my life first before we went that far. I'd like to have all my ducks in a row before I go and pulled the trigger on such things.
    I tried to be responsible in these things I do not just do things all willy-nilly.
     

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  2. Jonathan57

    Jonathan57 Guest

    I guess it all started back in the beginning of March. She started to get very sick.
    It all just started with a cough the common cold we had both got it and then about a week later I was getting better, but she wasn't progressing to getting better at this point. Which starting to worry me a little bit, but she was always a trooper and never wanted to go into the hospital and make massive bills were bills not need be created, money can be an issue and we didn't want it to start off like that.
    So as I was getting better she was at home me taking care of her of course with over the counter medicines,cough drops, Tylenol, ibuprofen things of this nature. At this point she seem to be getting better the cough loosing up a little bit she didn't feel like crap all the time, we started to kiss each other again, "even though I kissed her sick or well" and. Started messing around a little bit...
    So things looked up... about a week and a half into her not feeling well, things started to get progressively worse... she was having a hard time getting to the car with no energy level.Having a hard time just even getting to sleep and I called it. I said "honey you're not well, you're not getting better from this flu, you're getting worse." "I need to take you to the ER" Now!
    As it was 2 or 3 a.m. in the morning when I said this she wanted to get a little sleep or try too...So at 5 a.m. I got her out to the car and took her to the ER.

    We arrived at the ER and I get her checked in pretty fast. They run a flu swab test to see what type of flu she has, strain B and take a image of her chest to find out that it's all spotted and she has pneumonia.
    Now pneumonia it's hard to fight off when you're a healthy person My girl previously four years ago had two heart valves replaced... my dumbass should have been hot and heavy on this faster. But I'm all new to this as well... We were in the process of getting her to a doctor to get her heart valves checked & replaced.
    They do that do to that if they need to be replaced. Every 5 years and it had been about 4.

    So starts a rigorous weeks-long way to try to fix her but they're telling me she's too sick to fix. As if they try to do a surgery on her she is not well enough to survive it. This is not what somebody wants to hear... Basically telling me if she doesn't get well from the medicines were giving her "she's going to die", I hope you know that, have a good day... Doctors and their terrible bedside manner... at this point,I'm taking care of her every want and need making sure she gets the medicine she needs making sure the nurses are taking care of her and trying to keep the family all in the loop all at the same time. Also trying to field an Ex of hers that wants a play by play every hour on the hour. A real Mister want to know everything but "I'll put you down later for it all later", kind of guy. No one in the family likes him including me. Because of always making her feel like unwanted, used and no one will ever love you...Always making her feel like she's doing something wrong... Not to mention the anxiety he always caused her...

    Well coming to find out the doctors really don't know what they're doing, There trying this and that and this not really not making any Headway; just kind of telling me the same things over and over again. Then she starts to get a little better, they starting to get the meds correct. Now mind you,I've been at hospital with this girl for about 5 days now. Trying to deal with doctors and nurses and family and ex, All day and night. Not an easy thing to deal with while this is going on.

    To catch you up a little bit on her family, her father works for the Post Office he goes around teaching some kind of system he's developed for them,so he's around the country on a regular basis. Her mother is in Ireland and doing a retracing of her heritage with the my girls sister , not to mention a bunch of other countries they were visiting at the time. Also let me catch you up to speed and what kind of people these people are,they are Mormons,
    They really don't believe in medicine, not too well at least from where I was standing...As well there take on God is a little odd...To say the least...so maybe now you understand how this family is and how I'm trying to field them.

    It's about the sixth day and she's in the hospital and finally the family begins to arrive my girl is not looking too good at this point and the doctor's pretty much say she's going to die...but she knows my voice and continues to talk to me and telling me how much she loves me. Me being the positive person I am don't believe this and continue on being positive.
    Her mother finally shows up and thanks me for all the time I spent with her daughter and for being with her this whole time. Then a little later in the day the father shows up thanking me telling me how appreciative of my time he is and that from here they need to say their goodbyes to my girl...
    Mind you at this point I have gotten very little sleep, going through a bunch of different Medical ups and downs and this is written all over my face and body I am tired. As the night before she went into cardiac arrhythmia twice meaning of her heart do not be in the correct way. The first time I had to use ketamine and shocker out of it, the second term I was able to talk her out of it, kind of freak the doctors out.They didn't know how I did it.
    Anyway I agree with her father, that I need to go home and get some sleep and eat some food...so I do, but before I leave, I talked to my girl and ask her "do you want to live" "Do you want to fight this thing"? With a resounding "yes ,I do ,I love you"...

    With that I tell her mother exactly what she told me she wants to live she wants to fight this thing she wants to Beat It. But considering that her mother had power of attorney and the way that they believe in their Mormonism, they thought the best thing to do was Let Her Go...
    now I'm not one for seeing somebody in pain and I really hate to see that to be honest. But if someone tells me they want to stay around and give them a Fighting Chance I'm going to do that for them. As I leave the hospital they take her off all the medications that are helping her basically live and fight and basically mover into "hospice" position.

    Sunday morning, I arrived at the hospital early in the morning to see how she's doing, got in a good report the night before, vitals were all very good she was doing well without all the medicines. Mind you they were still pumping all the morphine and Ativan into her as much as possible... To get her comfortable... I spent 5 hours with her at the hospital on Sunday and tell her I love her and go back home...
    Things were looking up and I was giving that huge family time with their mother and sister,daughter.

    About 5pm on Sunday evening I get a text she has passed,she had a turn for the worst,and went quickly...
    Now,I'm not going to wrap up all my emotions all in this but, I didn't take it too well.
    Well now she's gone the only thing I can do is say goodbye to her at the funeral,so I was looking forward to that... But due to this covid-19 virus the family did not invite me to a funeral due to limited space at the funeral... Hint, didn't take that well either... But on my own visited her myself and said the things that I needed to say, as well as letting some emotions out.
    I just really want to say how special this girl was to me.She Truly made me happy. We made some promises to each other and plans to live this beautiful life together and grow. To fix things that were broken and mend them best we could. I would always tell her "Forever and Always" and she said would say "Always and Forever" so let our love go on and on and never stop may it be eternal.

    I would like to say this don't ever feel like you're telling someone that you love them too much. I would say this all the time ,and she would say it back to me, I would tell her,don't say it back if you don't mean it,she would say, but I do mean it, every time I say it, otherwise I wouldn't handsome".
    Live everyday to its fullest because you never know when your last day will be your last...Always tell the people you love, how much you love them. Show it because we are not defined by are words but are defined by are actions.

    I will miss you my Aimee, My Angel, My Sweetness, you will be in this White Knights Heart Forever, till we meet again my Love in that great place in the sky.

    This sucks I miss her can't talk to her about my feelings, I thank God for putting me ahead of the covid19 virus by 2 weeks getting to see my fiance pass, I needed and wanted to be with her, she deserve it as she was discarded in life and didn't feel much love outside our relationship for many years before. I love her so much and she continue to love her.My father had this wife pass my mother 5 years back to an opiate OD and he doesn't really discuss feelings, he suck at communication he a workaholic he works all Day and watches tv at night and I try not to disturb his routine. I miss my fiance someone to talk to love, appreciate and hug, I miss you Aimee my Angel. Love you Always& Forever
     
  3. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    Jonathan,

    You have faced so many losses in your life. My heart cries out for you for the loss of Aimee your Fiance, your mother, your brother-in-law, and then your grandfather. All these losses take such a tremendous toll on your psyche, and surely make life seem so bleak during those losses.

    Jonathan, first let them share with you my losses as well to allow you to see we both have seen death through many lenses. I too lost both of my parents, my wife of 42 years, both sets of my grandparents, so many uncles, one from suicide, many aunts, in the service, two close friends one a friend from high school, while we were all in Vietnam at the same time, and so many more.

    I have held others as they faced their losses, it is a time that makes you feel so humble how fragile life is. You never wish others will face so much grief in their life. I am sure you will cry so much and have in the past. It is so normal, so healthy, it allows you to overcome those emotions that have built up over a lifetime of events.

    I have recovered from all those losses. Some were incredibly hard to get beyond. I suffered depression and was treated for the loss of my dad, in short life can be so hard to exist.

    I wanted you to realize, we both have been touched by profound losses. Our heart has been ripped apart so many times, that makes you wonder sometimes why I am here, am I able to face it anymore. I will be honest, I also have seen so many people in my life who have overcome such extreme pain, hardships and yet they still found a way to get beyond their heartache, their tears. Sometimes all it takes us is to see others plight to realize we are are not alone in our sorrow.

    Losing Aimee, your Fiance to COVID-19 is so sad. She was beautiful and you were both an amazing looking couple. You shared a wonderful relationship with your fiance. When you meet your soulmate, your heart knows it. You can face anything, and will do whatever it takes to help each other. That is the same relationship I with my wife Nadine, I would have laid my life down for her no matter what. I am so sorry for you Jonathan.

    Jonathan, I have two sons, I am certain, you are a wonderful guardian for those six children. Some people never can touch the hearts of another’s children, but by your actions I am sure the children loved you back just as much as they did their mother. You will always see her in them as a reminder for what you once had.

    This great unknown we all face gives us all nightmares, worrying for our family and each other. We have no guarantee of what tomorrow will bring. With all this uncertainty, we are left feeling completely helpless. Not sure of what the heck to do, how to help and in short hate to see what the next day may bring.

    This sickness that stops us from close contact is heartless. I know you feel like ignoring all the warning signs. I know ‘The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants’. I hope they tested you.

    The lack of compassion is disheartening when you are facing such a serious illness. It, unfortunately, is not something you can teach - you either have it or you don’t. Those are the type of people I would avoid if at all possible. As for the ex butting in, too bad buster, I would tell him to go pound sand.

    Unfortunately, her parents had the power of attorney. Taking away the medicine that was helping her is truly sad. However, it was good they had a chance to say goodbye to their daughter. What bothers me the most about her parents is not considering your feelings, and that of their own daughter’s wishes to keep fighting it. That is counter to her well-being. So bad you had to endure that, and she possibly did not stand a chance once the medicine was removed.

    Jonathan, it was special that you made sure Aimee’s children and sister had a chance to be with her. I know it is so hard to see someone pass on, and I am sure they all cried many tears.

    Horrible you could not attend the funeral. Virus or not, mercy should have dictated you also be present. It is good you had the opportunity to visit after the funeral.

    Jonathan you are so right about saying I love you. Since the death of my wife, my step-brother and two sisters, call each day and end it by saying I love you. My two sons, I have never forgot to tell them I love you, it has been a habit since the day they were born.

    Jonathan even though Aimee is no longer physically present, she is with you now, in your words, in your heart, in your mind and will be forever. So please don’t be afraid to still cry, and talk to her, and tell her everything you wish to share. After, what will hurt, but think of all the good it will do for your spirit. I have a picture of Nadine my wife I talk to so much.

    One day perhaps your father and you will have a long talk, I hope so. Please take care of yourself as well. Watch your health and be mindful of how you are feeling. Don’t give in to the despair that can lead to depression. Peace be with you.

    -david


    I found this song for you



     
  4. Nimra Tariq

    Nimra Tariq New Member

    I hope things get better for you , may you move forward with time
     
  5. paul tinker

    paul tinker Well-Known Member

    Jonathan,

    Well written. Thank you for sharing. Really speechless. So much love is expressed here.
     
  6. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    Jonathan,

    We haven't spoken in a few days but I am still thinking of you and how each day passes for you. I have said prayers for your well-being brother, and I know Aimee is on your mind so much.

    When I face the nights it is one I have prepared for during the day. I have done so much. Talked to many people by phone, by the internet, and all the while, a tear or more may form in my eyes as I think of Nadine, as I am sure you of Aimee as well.

    If only dreams could come true, I have dreamed a thousand dreams of Nadine, as I am sure you have of Aimee. I know that as I do, those tears come, but that is ok, they are of the one I loved so much in life, as you do of Aimee.

    Please never let this loss get the better part of you. Even though you feel so strongly diminished by the loss of Aimee, she will always be with you - in your heart, in your mind and soul, and in the heartfelt words you speak. I don't ever expect you to forget Aimee, like I never will of Nadine. They both were a special part of us both, and will be forever.

    Take all the time in the world you need to yourself, but when you need to talk we will also be here. Lastly, never forget you are not alone anymore. Take care. Peace brother.

    -david

     
  7. Jonathan5757

    Jonathan5757 Well-Known Member

    Thankyou brother I gor
    Thankyou brother, I got locked out my account a few days ago and figure it out so I opened a new one.unless you know admin who can help the issue.
    Anyhow came a good time, I'm glad I couldn't post last few days I would of not been good...

    Anyhow doing better as said in my post memories equal pain.I laid out there...I miss Aimee a lot, I really need her....

    -Jonathan
     
  8. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

  9. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    Sorry for your loss. I just lost my mother on march 31st due to covid19

    Cesca,

    I am saddened to hear of the loss of your mother due to Covid-19. I am going to cut and paste this post to the Covid19 forum for you to respond further there.

    ..................................

    Covid-19 is such an unknown for us all. Being isolated like we all make it so hard to cope with our loss. I am not sure of the circumstances for your loss, but it really does not matter. Losing your mother is an enormous loss. She is the one who brought you into this world. The one who raised you. She cared for you, protected you, read stories to you, tucked you in at night. She loved you unconditionally in life.

    This isolation has taken so many support systems away from us. However, if you have a phone also, you can talk with support on the phone. My sons just did a video conference with their doctors, so I know it is possible via the internet. Try to arrange a conference with a counselor, and if money is an object, make sure to ask up front. Also ask for a free consult with a psychiatrist and ask the same question if a cost is involved. I am not sure if you can visit a church, but if you can do so and talk with a priest.

    Also, talk with your family. Connect with your friends if possible. Also, talk with us, or others like us who are complete strangers who will listen and talk with you.

    For now take care. If you feel like talking more, we will listen and respond. Peace be with you.

    -david

    This is a song for you.