She was in the hospital for almost a month, sedated, but responsive. We all thought she might make it, because she was improving every day. She had just given birth to a beautiful baby girl. Things had a trajectory that they damn well knew not to stray from. Tales of a loving God ring hollow to me. The Universe is a cruel indifferent mistress who doesn't give a damn about that little girl growing up without her mom. About that husband raising his daughter without the love of his life. About that friend living every day know she'll never hear the laugh of her kindred sister ever again. There is no love left in my heart. I am cold and dead and alone. Every day I am still alive, I feel the weight of 1000 cinder blocks dragging me, hopefully one day to the blank abyss I deserve.