I lost my dad on Monday 2/1 and he died alone in a nursing home, he was only 63. I keep going back to the phone call I got explaining how he was unresponsive and had passed and replaying it over and over again. I keep imagining what he must have felt like dying alone. He was the best part of my life and I don’t feel like I’ll ever be at peace. I feel like he died of a broken heart and in indirect and very sad Result of COVID Restrictions.
I lost my father as well due to Covid . He was alone too and unresponsive. He passed on Monday at 10:30 pm
I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure the pain of loosing your father and also the added weight of not being allowed to be there. I understand in spades. It’s been two weeks now and I can still feel the wind blowing through my guts. My heart is with yours.
It’s so weird to me because he was always so strong and then towards the end he was so much in pain . And what hurts is that people around me continue their lives as though he never existed .
I understand in spades. My dad was always so strong and so brilliant I really thought nothing could take him down. His suffering was awful At the end , he had not even a hug since lock down. To me it’s a crime against to humanity to be separated from someone I love So much for a year and then to only be allowed in after death.I found that to be so insulting to my soul. He was someone I loved so carefully. When they called to tell me they were pickup up “ the body” I couldn’t digest that. Grief is so lonely, my external and internal environments could not be less matched. Please message me anytime if you want to talk about your Dad or even how you’re feeling. I have found a lot of comfort on Reddit r/ griefsupport especially when I miss him insanely and I’m up when no one else is. Thanks for sharing your grief with me, it’s such an infinitely difficult but sacred space.
My Dad died Jan 17. I was holding his hand but he wasn’t there. He was very drugged. But he held my hand tight. He was my best friend and I too was his little princess. I’m 59 and I feel like I had him so long I should be happy with that time. His wife not my mother ( she died 25 years ago) has been awful. I’m not allowed in the house and all I want is to sit in his office and soak up his memory. They had an agreement about his property in their wills and she changed hers a week after he died. His birthday was yesterday and that was unbearable. Anyway my Dad was the strongest smartest man I’ve ever know. He could fix anything and or design it. He taught me how to cook how to forgive how to take the high road and how to love unconditionally. No one will ever love me like him now. I’m his executer of his will and sometimes it helps to take care of things for him. And sometimes not so much. I HAVE to move on for him. He would expect it. I’m just so sad and I miss his voice on the phone his hugs and his beautiful smile.
I'm reading this thinking how similar I'm feeling now. Lost dad Jan 13 from cancer. Holding his hand while he died, but he was in the coma the whole day. It's been 3 months and I think it's all hitting like a ton of bricks. The relief lasted awhile-- sadness, but not heavy because I was relieved he was out of pain. Now I miss him so much my heart hurts everyday and it still doesn't feel real. I'm sorry you had to go through the drama with the wife, that had to add so much stress to the situation. Please reach out if you'd like, I'm new here
Thankyou for replying. We do have similar feelings. I felt like it hit me about a month ago for real. I guess al we can do is wait for the pain to get not so heartbreaking. And it will. Like I said my Mom died 25 years ago so I know this is true. You can reach out to me anytime. I don’t know if my email comes up with my post. But it’s Sasha7561@yahoo.com. Don’t feel weird because you don’t know me. Think that our Dads want us to help each other. Whatever is right for you. Best wishes Sally
