My beautiful daughter Bonnie

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Mayix, Sep 28, 2018.

  1. Mayix

    Mayix New Member

    Bonnie passed suddenly at 34 years old leaving 3 young ones behind. I don't kno how to cope. How to act. People get tired of listening. I am so sad and broken
  2. Michele Wood

    Michele Wood Well-Known Member

    I am not going to say the obvious b/c you've heard it already. The only people who will listen are those who have gone through it or are going through it. Everyone else, exc. for therapists, pretty much don't know what to say, offer platitudes or ignore you. They are the blissfully unaware- until they have a loss, too.

    How to find these people: here on this site, grief support groups and maybe friends who do get it. Some books are also helpful.

    Personally, I am going to a therapist for the next 3 months, starting a group support Oct. 15, have 3 friends who understand, and re a d books.

    My loved one, Robert, died June 30 of sudden cardiac arrest in my presence. One minute here, the next gone. He was declared brain dead five days later. We had been partners for 18 years. Still in shock. World feels crazy. Still cry daily. Journal daily. Listen to Native American music daily. (He was Delaware/Osage). Visit parents' graves weekly and talk to them. Leave letters, pictures and mementos at their grave site. FB with Oklahoma Lifeshare Donor Family group.

    You have to try and process her death. The only way most of us know how to do that is talk, write, babble about them to whomever will listen w/o us feeling shamed to talk about the loved one for the 1000th time.

    Only by processing and integrating it will it make the impossible event a part of us.
  3. Sciguy

    Sciguy Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about your daughter. If your friends are tired of listening to you, perhaps a therapist would help. Hopefully coming here - even if just to vent - will be helpful too.