Good day... I am looking for somewhere to go to help learn to deal with the sudden deaths of three of my family members in less than three months times. The grief is becoming so overwhelming at times. First, I lost my brother in a tragic accident that cost the lives of 3 people. Accident was not the fault of my brother. It claimed the lives of a young woman and her baby. Second, I lost my nephew whom I am so very close to my sister and her children. He was the victim of a double homicide. I cruel and senseless act. His death came almost two months after the death of my brother. Third, I lost my mother 16 days after the death of my nephew due to a blood infection that the doctors were not able to treat and control. All of these deaths were sudden and unexpected. The amount of loss I’m feeling is difficult to comprehend. Just looking for some support. Haven’t been able to find the right counseling. Thought I’d try this route.
I am so sorry for your losses and all that you are going through. That is so much to have to deal with, and it sounds like you're not getting a chance to cope with one loss before another happens. I imagine it's also challenging as these were all family losses, meaning your whole family is being impacted too, and it must be tough to know where to turn. We have a lot of members here who are dealing with multiple losses, and you may find you connect with some of the stories in that thread, under "See and Share Stories". You can comment there or communicate directly by clicking on the name of a person whose story you relate to, and message with them privately if you prefer. We also have a lot of content on our site, articles related to a lot of different type of losses. I'm including one for you here: https://www.griefincommon.com/blog/multiple-losses-how-to-cope-with-loss-change/. I'm glad you're here with us, I think you can find some meaningful connection and support. I wish you all the best, please let me know if you have any questions or if there is anything you need, and please take care~
That is a very tough situation and one that is probably consuming you right now. All I can say you will recover from it and be able to integrate it into the new normal, but you have to do certain things first: 1. Get it out of you by talking with as many people as you can. Take away the shock value . But they must be people who know what you are going through. Platitudes and attempts to cheer you up will not do. Support groups for fellow grievers will allow you to talk about it and hear other people's experiences. Try another therapist if the first did not work. Not all are trained in grief. Journal or record and re read or listen as time goes on. Create rituals to remember your loved ones. Cry about it. It lets the grief out. You may be depressed or grow depressed. See your doctor if you think you are. The anti depression medicines work very well. Communicate with ithers on fhis site. There are also at least 5 FB groups (closed) dealing with grief. I do not know exactly what you are feeling as each of us are different. However, I had a similar experience 18 yrs ago when my sister, father and husband all died in my home. Their deaths were more spread out: 14 months. However, they were all unexpected and I discovered their bodies, exc for my husband who was dying when I discovered him. He committed suicide by drinking an entire bottle of rubbing alcohol. It was devastating: moved from THAT house into friend's home, changed jobs, individual and group counseling. Much time. I foubd a new partner wifhin a few monfhs. Ironically, he died 3 mos ago of sudden cardiac arrest right in front of me. I will be following the steps I outlined.
Thank you Michelle for responding. Today is my mother’s funeral and I am feeling pretty.....unknown. I’m sure that makes zero sense but I don’t know what to call it. I am so sorry for the experiences you had to face in your life time as well. Doesn’t seem like we should have go through such tragedy all at once, but I keep my faith in God and belief he has a greater plan. My faith is truly what’s getting me through these tough times. Again, thank you for responding. I will continue to post when I feel the need to do so.
