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Moving forward

Discussion in 'Loss of Child' started by 5redheadgirlsmom, Feb 18, 2021.

  1. 5redheadgirlsmom

    5redheadgirlsmom New Member

    Hi! Im kathie. I lost my beautiful 14 year old daughter in a car accident a little over 2 years ago. 3 of my girls were in the car. My 16 year old was driving her 14 year old sister to school and her 3 year old sister to daycare. She misjudged a left turn and was tboned. My kaiden was killed almost instantly. The other two basically walked away.
    I dont think my daughter will ever see this. And i know in my head and in my heart that it was an accident but sometimes i get angry. I wonder how she was the chosen one.
    I get angry because i cant believe that the one thing the social worker who followed us around the er told my husband and i we would probably be getting a divorce and guess what?! We are!!
    Im made at my ex because he found another mom who lost a kid to help with his grief. She understands him so much better than i do. He makes me feel guilty for trying to process and move forward. For remembering we have 4 other daughter who need 2 functioning parents. Im mad that while he thought i was so put together its a really good act. In so angry i cant cry and mourn her with him.
    He said so many mean things to me when he left. He called me a bad mom. He said i didnt love kaiden as much as i love the other kids. I couldnt go see her in the hospital. I couldnt see her broken little body on that trauma table. I knew if i did i qould have climbed onto that table and doed right along with her.